SATURDAY, 1.30PM
I pulled out a file in which I kept recipes cut out from magazines.
As I was lying down and flipping through the plastic folders which I have not touched for more than a year, I noticed ants.
More ants.
More, more ants.
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! An entire colony of ants have set up home in one of the folders!!
I held the file with my trembling fingers, stifled my scream (because Huda was beside me and she must not grow up a wimp like me - if not, who will help me clean up ant colonies when I'm old and decrepit and The Husband is equally old and decrepit?), threw the file into the sink and turned on the tap to drown the ants. (Yes, I AM cruel.)
With chattering teeth and hair raising on its ends, I banged on the toilet door where The Husband was and asked for help. The Husband, always amused by how cockroaches and lizards do not send me scurrying to him, grinned cos he knew that hero worship time had come.
I looked at the shelf where the file came from and (yikes! yikes! yikes!!) there the rest of the ants, quickly forming a thick black line moving off to an undisclosed location, far away from the recipe books shelf. Shivering with extreme ickiness, I pointed to the shelf and Hero Husband once again came to the rescue and wiped away the remaining ants.
"Maybe, they were attracted to the picture of the foods in your file," Hero Husband explained. "They wanted to eat the food."
SUNDAY, 4.30AM
I woke up for Sahur and I saw a thick black line snaking from behind the microwave oven to a cupboard above the recipe book shelf.
Hero Husband swiftly went into action. He wiped off the ants, found out where they were heading - the nest was rapidly being built, whitish powdery substances lacing disposable paper plates which were then immediately disposed - and anihilate, anihilate, annihilate.
SUNDAY, 10AM
An occasional ant spoted here and there, killed at sight by Wimpy Wife. Another ant sighted. Squashed. Three ants having a conference. Die, die, die!
MONDAY, 5.15AM
"You know, ah, ever since we started our war on ants, they seem to have disappeared. They no longer appear in our water jug," Wimpy Wife told Hero Husband.
"That's what you think. They are regrouping, planning their next strategy, planning their revenge."
"Do you think they'll know it's me?"
"Yeah. You better be scared. They are going to attack you while you sleep. Enter your ears and nose. Beware."
Gulp.
7 comments:
HEY!! i get ants in our water jug too, and the husband says it's coz we dun leave out sweet syrupy drinks for them, so plain water's the next best thing. like HUH!??! anyway, i place my water jug in a pool of shallow water in a small tray, so it's like, erm, my water jug is an island and the ants will die trying to get to the water jug coz they cant swim ha ha! meanwhile, water is ant-free... but they STILL attempt, kamikaze style, to get to the water jug. wth.
they even get into our empty mineral water bottles! but they never seem to find their way to the toilet bowl, kan? hmmm...
Aiyoh Nad! You better stuff your ears and nose with cotton wool and breathe through your mouth when you sleep . But then again, they will form a thick black line all the way to your stomach! Ya like Man said, Beware! hehehehehehe
Yeah...BEWARE....it's coming...
hana - so should i leave a bowl of syrup for them or something? NEVER!! they also attack my electric kettle leh. why can't they just go to the sink to get water? i'm going to try the moat-around-the-water-jug method. what great joy to see their lifeless body floating in the moat. wahahahahahaaaa!!
anne - they do!! hahaaa! this is, after i've wiped them up using tissue paper. then i'll throw the tissue paper into the toilet bowl. and when i flush, oh what a sweet feeling it is. but voluntarily? no, they don't go there on their own. i suppose, if they are in the toilet, there are many places they can get water so dun need to go to the toilet bowl?
rohana & aili - now, i'm super sensitive and always imagine there's an ant crawling up my arm. eeeeeuuuuuuuuuuwwwwwwwwwww!!!
I always find immense pleasure trapping a few ants in a ring of water, watching them scurry around, looking for escape. Then when some water has dried up, just before one reaches it, elated that he is finally free, I drip some water again...:) sadist, I know....:P
Miss Lim's remedies:
1) buy the round round white white thing from NTUC, apparently, ants eat them, go back to their nest and die inside. The other ants in the nest eat them and die too! very very very effective.Annilates all these pests!
2) You know the silica gel that comes in medicine bottles? Put them around your house, keep ants away too!
kailing!!! i used to do that when i was younger!!! hahahaaa! so fun, hor? it's amazing that i didnt turn out to be some sadistic murderer. but then, a few weeks before i discovered their nest, the ants in my water jug had learnt how to swim!! when i poured the water into a cup, the ants will be clinging on to the sides of the cup even when they were submerged in the water. and when the cup is emptied, they'd start crawling again. i found that very scary because they were learning new tricks to stay alive. what next? how to uncap the sugar jar?
i've tried all sorts of things against the ants but i think i have smart ants in my house. they have higher order thinking lah. so the best way is to (get Man) to find the nests and kill them all.
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