Lizard and My Girls

1. Last night, in the wee hours of the morning, I sat up against the headboard of my bed and fed Farah. The little lamp beside the bed was turned on and I was just staring at the wall in front of the bed when I noticed a movement near the door.

A lizard.

Or rather, a baby crocodile. (Because it was THAT huge.)

This approximately-15-centimetre creature danced on the wall this way and that before finally disappearing behind the curtain on the other side of the wall.

I couldn't run after if because of Farah and so sent The Husband to do the killing but it had disappeared.

Of course, this meant that more lizard traps are needed.

Speaking of lizard traps, The Husband removed one which had been stuck to one corner of a room for many months and there were 5 dead lizards there. There would have been more but there was no space for anymore lizards to glue themselves onto the sticky pads.

------------ end of lizard story ------------

2. Huda is incredibly shy among people she's not familiar with. She wouldn't even answer if they were to ask her for her name. But, I'm happily ruling out selective mutism because once she's familiar with someone, she will never stop talking.

3. Huda's potty ways - Finally, yesterday, she poo-ed in the toilet. It wasn't much of a problem making her pee in the toilet and she's been doing that since early this year but she couldn't poo in the toilet at all. There were two times when she poo-ed in the toilet but I wouldn't count those times because they involved pretty embarrassing details which shouldn't be repeated in public. All other times, she would do her business in her diaper which she still wears to sleep. (Not removing diapers at bedtime just yet. I do not wish to interrupt my sleep just to change bedsheets.) Hopefully, yesterday wasn't a fluke and she would continue pooing in the toilet.

I promised her that we would go to the supermarket after she'd had her dinner and she could get anything she wanted (errrr, confined to foodstuff and within a reasonable budget). So she chose a pack of M&Ms. We were going to meet up with her daddy, who would be on the way back from work, at the supermarket. And Huda, excitable little child she is, squealed in delight when she saw her father and screamed out, "Ayah! Mak belikan Huda coklat sebab Huda pandai. Huda berak dalam toilet!" (Ayah! Mak bought chocolates for me because I'm clever! I poo-ed in the toilet!) She screamed that out. In a crowded NTUC supermarket at Woodlands Civics Centre. And then she went on to say (very loudly) who she would share her pack of M&Ms with. According to Huda, Farah cannot have any because Farah doesn't have any teeth. (That's what I taught her so as to prevent her from feeding Farah anything.)

4. Farah is almost three months now. She can smile on occasions but once I whip out the camera, the smile fades away. She has been an easy baby to take care of and hopefully it remains this way. A few times a week, she would sleep through the night. Her last feed would be around 11pm and she would only wake up around 7-ish for milk. It is almost unbelievable because til today, Huda hardly ever sleeps through the night. 

5. While her sleeping pattern leaves much to be desired, her eating habits have improved significantly. Huda's eating A LOT these days. For dinner, she can finish off 2 bowls of rice but I would not give her any more than that because she wouldn't be able to keep all the food down.

But she is still skinny and weighs a mere 11.2kg as of yesterday

Where does all the food go?

She jumps. And jumps and jumps and jumps. We reach the last step of a flight of stairs - she jumps. There's a line on the floor - she jumps. There's a small puddle of water. She jumps. You get the picture. I tried to jump over a line. I can feel all my bones rattling and all my insides were busily rearranging themselves for many, many minutes after the jump.

Okay. Gotta stop now and attend to Farah even though I still have a whole lot of nothings to say. Bye for now!

Season of Sickness

One day, there were 2 sick daughters at home.

After a trip to the polyclinic, we were told to take the Little One to KKH cos little ones under 3 months are not supposed to get fever and if they do, the fever should be managed by KKH.

So, there we were, Farah and I, enjoying our 2-day-1-night stay at KK Hotel. Honestly, it was a blissful stay because Farah is easy to take care of and it helped that her fever was gone by the time we got to KK (but she got admitted anyway because the letter from the polyclinic stated that her fever was 38.5 degrees).

So, that's it, Farah. You've got yourself a vacation at the hospital and there will be no more of these, okay?

Epilogue: Both Farah and Huda are no longer having fever. But the dreadful cough is still there. Sigh. If I ever have a #3, I'll put him/her in a bubble for the first three months away from the germ-friendly sisters.

 

Breastfeeding Revisited

 

This is a completely irrelevant picture of a little baldy.

 

Once when I was pregnant, I entered a mosque and saw a woman breastfeeding. At that point, the image stirred up a lot of emotions and I couldn't wait for Farah to be out so that we can start the breastfeeding journey all over again.

But, somehow, the first few weeks didn't turn out the way I imagined it to be. Farah was not drinking that much and I was engorged all the time. I pumped out the excess milk twice a day but that created a false demand for milk and so I was even more engorged and in pain.

Then the medela pump which I just bought became lousier and lousier. That was the third mini electric pump I had bought in my short breastfeeding career. The first two were during Huda's time. And after the second one, I swore I'll never buy medela again. My sister and I bought an ameda double pump but she unexpectedly got pregnant ahead of schedule and was still using the pump. I then planned to buy the avent manual pump after I heard lots of good stuff about it.

But, for whatever strange reasons, on the day I was discharged from the hospital, I went and got a medela mini electric instead. This pump disappointed me from the third week onwards. It simply could not draw out all that much milk anymore. I knew the breasts were not emptied and lumps of various sizes started appearing especially on the right side. Three quarters of the right breast was lumpy and each time I pumped from that side, I managed only a measly 10-20ml, as opposed to the 50-90ml I got from the other side (which also had lumps but not as bad as the right side).

I was going to see my gynae and the last thing I want is to be referred to a breast specialist (and subject myself to another biopsy). So, I started looking up the net for solutions to clogged ducts. I tried the hot towel treatment, ice pack treatment, cabbage treatment but none worked for me. I looked up more solutions and one, which seemed like a hair-brained idea when I first read it, suggested using a wide-tooth comb to comb the blocked ducts away.

And that's what I did. There was nothing to lose, anyway. So, I started combing the breasts each time I fed Farah. (Sounds crazy, doesn't it?)

Amazingly, by the next day, there were no more lumps! Even the super-stubborn lump that was around from Huda's breasfeeding days (the one that necessitated a biopsy) was gone!!

A comb! That's the answer to blocked ducts!

So, I'm now a happier breastfeeding mother.

There are some inconveniences, of course. The number one headache I'm facing is starting my driving lessons again. I would need to introduce Farah to the bottle if I have to be away from her for a few hours. And I am just too l-a-z-y to do that. But it has to be done because my target is to get my license by Hari Raya (then I can drive off with my father's car because I got no money to buy one myself).

Another inconvenience is, I cannot eat less. As I want to make sure that my milk has lots of good stuff for Farah, I have to eat and eat and eat. The way I control the size of my tummy is by eating less but if this option is not available, am I supposed to exercise the fats away? *gulps*

Back to breastfeeding - Unlike the first time, this time round, I'm not setting a long target. I am going to go on unpaid leave til the end of 2010 but that does not mean I'll be breastfeeding til then. If I can, I will. If for whatever reasons, I cannot, then, there's always formula milk. Absolutely no pressure on myself. (But, I think I'll breastfeed for a minimum of 6 months to a year because infant formula is very expensive.)

So this marks the beginning my second breastfeeding journey. I hope I'll enjoy it as much as I did the first time round.

Farah at 7 weeks

 

Farah's almost 2 months now.

She is gaining weight very well, 1.7kg has been added to her since birth. She's now slightly more than 4kg. Yipppeee!! Last week, she had an appointment with the doctor who saw her at birth and she passed everything with flying colours. (What does that mean - flying colours?)

She drinks lots of milk very frequently in the day, especially in the afternoon, all the way to about 10pm. I try to space out the milking session to at least 1.5hours apart. At night, she sleeps longer between feeds. There were 2 nights when she allowed me 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep. But, there's only been two of such nights. Normally, she would give me 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night before crying for milk again.

I think she's able to distinguish between night and day because in the day, she sleeps in the playpen placed in the living room and at night, she sleeps in the cot in our bedroom. Or perhaps, the cot is a lot more comfortable than the playpen. In any case, the arrangement works out fine.

Her poo is mustard-yellow and unlike Huda's which looked more like pellets, hers is of the stringy variety. Hahaa! Is that a lot of information? I'm typing everything I could recall because my memory's been even lousier of late.

On some days, she looks a lot like Huda but at other times, she's her own person. She likes to be held upright and then she'll look up at me with the most nonchalant expression on her face. Which makes me want to bite her cheeks cos she seems to be saying - I'm too cute and even when I look so dao, you still can't resist me.

But of course, I can resist her when she cries. Heh. Cos, there are days when she just wants to show who's boss and demands to be carried every ten minutes or so. When there are many people around, I'll let her think she can boss us around and will pick her up. (Well, not me, normally. It will be all the other people whom she has managed to hoodwink.) But when it's just the both of us, she knows that I'm da boss and she better not cry.

We have not done anything about the Baby Bonus the good government will give us as soon as we hand in the forms. That's the problem - the forms. Ordinarily, I enjoy filling in forms and surveys and contests etc... but each time I look at the thick envelope, I just feel a strong urge to procrastinate a bit longer. (I've also been procrastinating a lot of things - going back to my workplace to clear my table, calling up KK and the polyclinic to make and change appointments, updating my multiply, posting Farah's photos and other similar non-routine stuff.)

 

Farah at 2 weeks with a head full of hair and cousins, Farouq and Haziq.

 

"Why is Kakak Huda always in the picture?"  - Farah, 7 weeks old, no hair

 

Cleaning Up Mish Mash

1. We didn't get that flat. So now I'm looking for carpenters for the girls' wardrobe. Recommendations, anyone? Must be cheap and good.

2. I have also been cleaning out our third bedroom which is, honestly, our huge store room. And I have now banned myself from buying books, toys and clothes (for the girls). I finally managed to squeeze all the books into the bookshelf when I turned around and saw one stack of books. So, I stacked and squeezed the books in the shelf again. Just as I was admiring my organisational skills, I saw another stack of books which escaped the first two rounds of shelving! How on earth did I manage to amass so many books? And where do they come from?

There's absolutely no space for kids' books anymore. No space for assessment books also (not for the girls to do but they were useful when I was working and I keep them because they may be useful when I do some moonlighting later in the year). And in the adults' section, there's only enough space for maybe one or two more novels. 

I wrote the above on 13 March and saved it for updating later but never got round to it.

3. Farah was so well-behaved in her early days. In those first few weeks, I fed her, put her in the cot, fed her, back to cot. It was so easy taking care of her that I actually felt guilty because I was so free. She still is all good now. Except that she wants to be carried all the time. All. The. Time. That's why my pet Hufafa in Pet Society (in Facebook, if you are wondering what Pet Society is - no relation to Pet Semetery) has been neglected. I'm busy carrying my little pet. I should put up her photos soon.

4. The lift at my mom's place is ready and I had loads of fun going up and down the lift. (Yes, I'm deprived.) I'm making lots of plans for the day when the lift here is finally up and running. Like, I will use the stroller to send Huda to school because I plan to walk there and back and that will be my daily exercise. (HAHAHAAA!) I'm just saying that because the lift is not ready yet. I'll be singing a different tune when it's ready, I'm sure.

5. I think Huda looks like an ah lian in this photo. But she's a cute lian.

6. It's a super-duper humid day today and I am melting.

7. Edward Cullen is soooooo good looking (even though I really hate the Twilight movie - where do I even begin?).

8. My search for professional-sofa-cleaner-people has ended. Two different companies have told me that the spots on my sofa are meant to stay there forever. Those are things which occur naturally in leather and nothing can remove them. Nothing. My heart sank all the way to the ground floor when I heard that. Whey did I insist on buying a white sofa?! (Oh, I remember - so that lizards can't camouflage their shit on it.) So now I'm looking for nice throws to use over the sofa. Anyone seen any nice ones? 

Home

1. I am back at home.

I should have called one of those part-time cleaners to clean the house before our homecoming 'cos I spent the first 2 hours at home vacuuming and mopping and wiping. The house was just sooo dusty what with the lift upgrading project that somehow has not seen much progress since I last saw it one month ago. Now I'm having back pains. Lovely.

2. Today, we saw an ad for a flat in the area we've been looking for and for the first time since our search began, both of us like the unit we saw. Should we get it? We would have to go into debt all over again to service the loan for the house. We would have to take a bank loan. However, the loan amount that we need is not too big so will banks bother to lend a small amount to us? Is it better to be cash-rich or asset-rich (especially if the asset is your home meant for you to die in and not an investment piece)?

3. I was planning to start on the girls' room this week - looking for contractors for the wardrobe, think about the furniture and perhaps a coat of paint. But with this latest development, the plan is shelved again. If we get the flat (and we may very well know about it by the end of this week), I shall just get a cheap cheap chest of drawers for the girls' clothes as a stop-gap measure. If we don't get the flat, the girls will get their room by end of next month.

4. Not related to the topic at all - how do you make your children sleep? I find myself having to scold Huda to make her sleep. She would prefer to talk (to herself if I refuse to entertain her) or play with whatever she could get her hands on or pretend to need to drink water etc when she's supposed to sleep. The Husband is normally the one on Sleep Duty but occasionally, I have to make her sleep if The Husband is busy with something else. I really dread this because no matter how pleasantly I start it off, I will end up barking at her and scolding her. I'm quite sure that I don't have the tenacity to do the supernanny thing.

5. Farah. She has some phlegm problems, all thanks to the generosity of her older sister. But, she's way too young to be put on medication so I can only hope that there's something magical in breastmilk that will drive the phlegm away. And I need something to boost Huda's immunity. She's getting phlegmy coughs way too frequently. It has something to do with her going to school, I know. Small kids who just start school tend to fall ill frequently but she also is more susceptible than most other kids because of her prematurity. Are there any effective supplements which are delicious, taste like sweets, highly appealing to kids and, most importantly, can boost a child's immunity?

6. It's now 11pm and I am so sleepy. I missed breastfeeding when I stopped doing so but now that I've started again, I wonder what I missed. The interrupted nights? The engorged breasts? The blocked ducts? The $%&# pain from the blocked ducts? The leaky milk?

Sigh. I must remind myself that this is the best food for Farah and I should be so grateful that I have some milk to offer my daughter.

 

A.Z.

 

Just this morning, I was telling The Husband that if Anuar Zain were to have a concert in Singapore again, I will buy the front-row seats the moment the tickets are released.

A few moments ago, my sister called. She heard on the radio that he's having a concert on the 7th of March. 7th of March??! I'm still very, very breastfeeding leh!!!! How to run off to a concert?

Then, the cogs in my brain started whirring real fast. I'll get a room at the Hyatt (where the concert is), beg my kind sister to babysit the 2 kids there, then off to the concert and should Farah cry for milk, I'll just have to disappear for 30 minutes, feed her and come back to my front-row seat. Heheeeee...

Now, I'll check if the front row seats are available. If they are not, then, well.. it's just not meant to be.

All I Want Are Rain and Patience

Slightly more than a week into motherhood-round-two, life has changed very much and at the same time, not changed at all. :perplexed:

(I realise that by the time I finish this, it would already be 2 weeks of motherhound-round-two.)

1. I Turned Mad

My 4-day stay at the hospital coincided with Huda experiencing a terrible bout of cough. She would have a long coughing fits in the middle of the night which would leave her all tired and cranky the next day because of a lack of sleep. Her naps were also similarly interrupted so she never could make up for the lack of sleep at night with a longer nap in the day. She was always asking for me. Her appetite was affected, of course.

When I finally came home, she was still suffering from her cough.

I'm not *that* particular about many things but I will turn into quite a monster if she refuses to eat. It doesn't help that I was feeling all hot and bothered after childbirth - what with the pain from the c-section, the abdominal binder which made my stomach too warm, the perpetual smell of stale milk, the extra heat gained from having to use breast pads to soak up the leaky milk and to top it off so perfectly, the unbearably hot weather - my patience with her was at its thinnest. And she refused her dinner completely. Not once, but twice. And I lost it with her. Not once, but twice.

That was not a moment (or rather, moments) I was proud of. I was really raging mad. As in, raging mad. If I could have looked at myself from a distance, I would definitely have seen steam coming out from my ears.

Besides not eating, she simply wanted to be Miss Contrary. If you tell her to do something, she will do something else. I took her to the polyclinic with me for Farah's check-up and all she wanted to do there was lift up her shirt and show the entire world her stomach and chest. My sister and I tried to stop her but she refused, of course. She also removed her shoes and put them between her knees. She refused her baths but when she's finally in the toilet, refused to get out. Her cousin wanted the gate to be opened while she insisted that it should be closed. When I tried to bait her away from the gate with her princess-themed dress that she loved so much, she suddenly refused the dress (which she had been talking about non-stop the entire day). You get the idea, don't you?

I'm not sure whether Huda being difficult was due to her cough alone or a combination of her cough + the presence of Farah + my absence for 4 days... but I know that my reaction (to her not eating) was not normal by my standards. I am normally a lot more patient and do not turn into a raving mad lunatic so easily.

Anyway, I have since become a lot saner and got some of my patience back. She's also getting better and her coughing fits have ended after a trip to KK and being put on the Ventolin puff. It's great that I'm putting up at my parents' place for now where there are more people around to help me with the two girls since The Husband's job is keeping him in the office til late on some days.

2. Huda

Huda does not show signs of violence towards Farah. Maybe, not yet. YC has told me plenty of stories about how her firstborn treats the younger one. One of the stories involves the older one kicking the younger one off the parents' bed. Scary, or what? So, everyone is observing Huda closely when she gets near Farah and so far, so good. However, there was that one day when Huda had a purple pen and she wanted to draw on Farah's head. And, that same day, she tried to push Farah's head away while I was feeding Farah. That was frightening. So, close monitoring still necessary. YC also told me that sibling rivalry takes many forms, not just violence towards the little kiddo. I have a lot of reading up to do.

3. Feeding

Farah is on breastmilk for now. But she did have a bit of formula milk on the night of her birth. I was supposed to feed Farah a second time. The nurse came with Farah and she raised my bed. The bed was almost 90 degrees. Then I felt a wave of nausea bubbling up my throat. I started to vomit the lunch I had in school. After that, I still wanted to feed Farah but another round of vomiting ensued. So, in the end, I consented to Farah drinking formula milk while I tried to sleep through the night. (Which I couldn't because I kept on having dreams which involved me doing some physically-exhausting activities like running up and down the staircases in school, running across a wide open field etc etc etc.. )

The next morning, I tried again and with no vomiting, I was allowed to feed her. I would only say I was successful at feeding her after the lactation consultant came and taught me how to feed Farah using the football-hold position.

However, Farah, like her sister, does not seem to have a voracious appetite. She stayed on either side for no longer than 10 minutes and refused the other side after unlatching herself. At the hospital, she was forced to drink milk every 3 hours. The nurses would un-swaddle her, change her diapers and basically disturb her until she wakes up and cry. When her mouth was wide open, I'd just pop her source of milk into her mouth and she'd suckle away.

But, at home, she got even more comfortable. Even after changing her diapers and removing the swaddler, she would continue to sleep. I've tried everything I can think of but if she refuses to open her mouth, how can I feed her? In the end, I am engorged and I have to pump out my milk. Thankfully, Huda will unknowingly drink the milk I pumped out; she doesn't know what she's drinking.  

Still, I don't think I should worry about Farah's drinking habit. She produces the required minimum of 3 poos and 6 pees a day so that means she's getting enough milk. It's also great to know that she has gained almost 500g in one week.

4. Confinement Rituals

Errrr... almost none? I know that some people swear by it and say that observing the confinement rituals will ensure good health in future. But, I can't possibly wrap myself up llike it's winter when the weather is this unbearable. And, ultimately, my sanity is a thousand times more important. However, I do try to eat food which is suitable for a woman in confinement - less spicy food, avoid that chilli crab and the like. I have not gone out other than to the polyclinic for Farah's jaundice. Not so much because I am really observing the confinement rules but because I get so tired so easily.

I hope all this tiredness will go away after I've had my massage. I don't know when that is because I'm still shortlisting the makcik urut. I think I will do it after my check-up with my gynae next Wednesday. Or maybe, I'll start next Monday and not have it on Wednesday when I have my check-up.

5. My Physical Self

I still have my double chin. Wobbly wobbly. My tummy is still there too. Wobbly wobbly. And well, you can just call me Ms Wobbles.

6. The Big Move

I am preparing myself to move back to my place by the beginning of next month. The one thing which I have to seriously prepare myself for is the cooking. So, now I am writing down a menu for breakfast, lunch and dinner for at least 3 weeks. (Writing down the menu is one thing; cooking it is another story...)

Oh, and, of course, there's the issue with the lift. WHEN WILL IT EVER BE READY?! The Husband has been making trips back home to pick up stuff and he does not have an optimistic outlook on the lift situation. Argh!

My Firstborn

Yati & Suraya - this is my reply to the facebook tag thing.

 

 

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED?

Yes. 2 years of child-free life before baby makes an appearance.

2. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS?

Grateful to Allah for the precious gift.

3. HOW OLD WERE YOU?

That was '05. So, I was 28.

4. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT?

Home pregnancy test kit. And after that, a trip to the GP nearby to confirm it. (Suraya, I wish I had visited the polyclinic! Didn't realise that it would have been so much cheaper!)

5. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST?

The Husband.

6. DID YOU FIND OUT THE SEX?

Yes. It’s a girl!

7. DUE DATE?

26 April 2006. (And I will not forget this due date cos it’s also Murniyati’s birthday.)

8. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS?

Did I? Oh goodness. I didn’t have morning sickness. I had all-day-and-night sickness. It was absolutely horrifying. Lasted ‘til 5 months, after which it was just occasional, sporadic vomiting.  

9. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? .

Nothing!! Which was terribly annoying. Because I’ve prepared The Husband for 3am trips to hunt for roti prata but it never materialised.

.

10. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST?

Smell of food. Any food.

11. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX?

Girl.

12. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING?
Not at all. I didn’t really care what the gender was. I just wanted a healthy baby.

13. HOW MANY KILOS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY?

8 kg.

.

14. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER?
Nope.

15. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW?
It was not surprising that I didn’t have a baby shower cos I’m not really into these things. :P

16. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY?

Where do I begin? Hahaa! Naaahh.. not really that bad. I just had a super-small baby. IUGR, that’s what the condition is called. Intra-Uterine Growth Retardation. And, between week 32 and 33, the baby didn’t grow at all so I was hospitalised.

.

17. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH?

KK Hospital. And I am so glad I chose KK because the staff at NICU and SCN took care of Huda so well. And the follow-up care is just as excellent.

18. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOUR?

I wasn’t in labour at all although I was stuck in the labour ward for one good week of my life.

19. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL?

I was hospitalised after my Week 33 check-up and I think I got to the hospital by cab so it was the taxi driver who drove me there.

20. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH?

A couple of doctors (not my gynae cos I had to downgrade so my gynae could not attend to me), an anaesthetist, the anaesthetist’s understudy, some nurses – one of whom is a friend of mine.

21. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION?

C-section. That’s why there were so many people.

.

22. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN?

Is it possible to do a C-section without any medication?

23. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH?

1.136 kg

24. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN?

16 March 2006. Her birthday is coming!

25. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? 

Huda. Yup, only Huda. No Nur, Siti, Nurul, Muhammad, Abdullah etc. We like to keep things simple.

26. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY?

2 years, 11 months.

 

 

And She's Out!

This is extremely long. I am typing out everything I remember so that years from now, I will know exactly what happened on 9 February 2009. It is extremely long. It is not exciting. It will make you sleep. (And Liza, it wont make you cry.)

--

On 9th February, after school, I went to KK for my 37th week check-up. I was still, of course, hoping for a natural delivery but knew that a Caesarian section may just have to be performed.

When I got there, I did the normal routine tests but the blood pressure machine couldn't read my blood pressure because it was a bit on the low side. Low blood pressure was pretty much the norm throughout this pregnancy but since it did not cause blackouts or fainting spells, it was not a cause for alarm. While waiting for the CTG test to be performed, I was called into the doctor's room first. So I went in and she asked how things were. I told her about my vomiting/diarrhoea episode that happened a few days earlier. Other than that, things were okay. She asked about foetal movement and I admitted that I did not feel much movements for the past two days and only about one or two weak kicks that day. I suppose that was normal too considering that there's not much space in the womb for the baby to move around.

But, the gynae immediately told me that that could be worrying. She's concerned about, among other things, the umbilical cord being entangled around the baby's neck. So, she said, "Like that, we must deliver her soon, ah?"

And I asked, "Err, how soon?"

I think she didn't hear me because she then gathered some forms and started to furiously fill in the forms and told me to get the CTG done and then come back to see her. I was aware that soon could mean that very afternoon but I was really, really hoping that soon meant late in the week so that I would have more time to prepare Huda, hand over everything at work properly and go for my final brazilian (I don''t want the nurses to shave me).

I called The Husband and told him that I might have to deliver that very day and he was completely unprepared. He had tonnes of work to finish that day and was already planning to come back late.

I went for the CTG and went back to the doctor's office. I asked her again what soon meant. The answer? "Today. As soon as the Operating Theatres are ready."

Gulp.

Reality sank in. As she prepared the drip, I quickly sent text messages to The Husband and my HOD in school. That was around 4.30pm. The Husband would finish off his work, zoom home to pick up the hospital bag and other stuff, to my mom's to say hi and bye to Huda plus pick up more stuff and finally to to the hospital.

Meanwhile, I was wheeled to my room and changed into the operation gown. Lovely white and bright pink, it was. I was informed that they were waiting for one of the Operation Theatres to be free and when I asked for an estimate, the nurse told me that it would be in about half an hour or so. Time: 6pm. The Husband was not there yet.

6.30pm. A nurse came to take me to the OT. Husband still not there yet. I called him and told him that I would see him after I deliver. I had to say goodbye to my contact lenses. Blind as a bat, I walked with the nurse to the Operating Theatre and waited at the Patients-Only-Waiting-Area. Sigh. Patients Only. No hope of seeing The Husband before the operation. The anaesthetist came and asked me some questions. Suddenly, the doors swung open and The Husband appeared. He made it. The anaesthetist told us it was a very, very busy day at the OT because so many people opted to do their elective C-section on that day. Lucky date, she presumed. Before I knew it, I was whisked to Operating Theatre 5 and for the seven millionth time, I was asked my name and my IC number.

The nurses started preparing me for the operation and I started shivering uncontrollably. That happened when I had Huda too. I actually had the audacity to ask for the thermostat to be increased then. But of course, they couldn't as the place had to be kept as cool as possible to minimise bacteria growth and other similarly unsavoury stuff.

I like the anaesthetist whose name I didn't know. All I know is she sounded like a Filipino. She has this dry sense of humour about her and was motherly and comforting without intending to be so. She first sent a jab up my spine to numb the area so that they could put in the epidural + anaesthetic. At that point in time, I wondered why I put myself through that and I was quite sure that this #2 will be the last one. (Apparently, 99% of women said that at various points of the birthing process but that didn't stop the world's population from increasing.)

The doctors then started pinching my legs to find out if I could feel anything. I could still wriggle my toes and lift my legs. I was so worried that I would need more than a local anaesthesia for this one - which was the case for my sister's third c-section cos she could feel the doctors pinching her tummy. But, soon, my legs were as heavy as lead.

I soon felt tugging in my lower abdomen and knew they have already cut me up. One of the doctors actually knelt on the operating table and I saw her trying her mighty best to pull something out. At that point, I was so grateful for anaesthetic.

Then, I heard a cry. Farah was out. Somebody then showed Farah to me. And in my semi-blind state, all I saw were 4 limbs and a head attached to a body. Good enough.

After that, it was the long wait. I waited for the gynae to stitch me up. Then I waited in the recovery room for my senses to come back. All the time, I was comparing what I was experiencing at that point with what I experienced some 3 years ago. Then, I had absolutely no sense of time, being woken up in the middle of the night to have the operation done. But, this time round, I knew exactly what time it was because I kept asking the nurse. I have no idea why that was important to me.

One thing that I kept on thinking about when I was lying down in the recovery area was that I had to get better really fast (a) because I need to start breastfeeding Farah and (b) because Huda needs her mommy. I willed my legs to move and for my body to get rid of the anesthesia soonest.

By 9.25pm, I was wheeled out of the recovery room and The Husband was outside waiting for me. He told me about Farah but just like what it was 3 years ago, my mind was very hazy and I did not register much of what he was telling me.

10pm. Farah was sent to me. I finally had a chance to hold her. I could hold her and feed her. And fed her I did.