Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Week 9

24 July 2008 I just can't take plain white rice. It's okay if it's drenched in some kind of gravy. But, just plain white rice? No way.

26 July 2008 I saw the heartbeat today. The heartbeat was quite faint and wasn't as strong as Huda's when I saw hers at Week 8. The baby has grown and is now of the right size for a 9-week-old baby. (No, I don't call them foetus, no matter what.) 3 weeks ago, s/he was 4mm and was a tad bit too small. (I fell into some sort of depression then when I realised the baby was - again - too small but I didn't want to talk about it.) The gynae didn't want to give me the EDD then because it didn't match my last menstrual period. Now, the baby has grown to 25mm. Amazing. Expected delivery date is 1 March 2009. I've lost 2 kg and now weigh in at 45kg. It was great that I didn't try to lose weight after the miscarriage. Otherwise, I wouldn't have much to spare for this round. Because I didn't have any problems this time round, I can see what Liza meant when her friend said 'gynae with the lowest EQ ever'. My previous gynae would spend time to entertain my queries. This one seems to be in a hurry to rush me out now that I am problem-free. But, I don't mind this. I like a problem-free pregnancy and delivery.

28 July 2008 On medical leave again. This is my second Monday off in three weeks. I was vomiting too much, yet in between each session, I'd gasp to The Husband, 'Must. go. school. Must. pass. exam. papers. to. xxx.' The Husband took the day off so that he could send the exam papers while I vegetated on the couch. The doctor asked if I wanted a jab to stop the vomiting. But, I don't think so. The vomiting only stated again last night. And it's not as bad as my first pregnancy - as in, it has not lasted one entire week. So, I'll wait til I'm really desperate for a quick fix.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Reaching Week 8

16 July 2008 Miserable. I've been vomiting everything out since yesterday. Nothing stays inside. I'm exhausted from all the vomiting and my arms feel like lead. I can't even summon enough energy to pick up my pen to start marking. And then, there's the sudden tightness in the chest and quickening of the heartbeat. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

17 July 2008 Taxi fare's up again. I'm not made of money, LTA!!! I'm taking a taxi because I'm too weak to take the bus and MRT. Now, to go home from my mom's place at 6.30pm, it'll cost me a minimum of $4.20. Grrrr.

19 July 2008 Trying to be positive. So will write about happy things. The vomiting is still ongoing BUT it does not happen all the time. I need to eat a teeny eeny weeny little bit each time and everything will stay in. Alhamdulillah!! I'm also trying to eat more of yang food - which means heaty food. According to my sinsehs, yang food can help me up my energy level whereas too much yin food at this stage will make me weak. No wonder. I have been surviving mostly on fruit for the past 2 weeks and I've been soooooo lembik. So, now, it's time for more beef, fish and even durian which is so in season now. I MUST EAT - that's my mantra these days.

20 July 2008 My brother's wedding today. Yes. Another brother. Thank goodness the next in line to get married is only 19 so there's still 5-6 more years, the earliest, before another wedding takes place in the family. Anyway, I was telling my mother and my brother-the-groom that I would be an ineffective member of the wedding party as I would spend all the time lying down upstairs while the wedding reception's taking place downstairs.

But, ever since I started on this yang eating programme on Friday afternoon - which sees me forcing myself eat all sorts of food that's been classified as yang by my sinsehs - my energy level is on the rise! Miracles!! I've been praying for a miracle and this is it! I actually managed to join in the wedding festivities, welcomed guests with a big smile and talked to makciks and pakciks and et cetera and et cetera. Miracles! Miacles! Miracles! Alhamdulillah.

23 July 2008 The vomiting and the weak feeling come and go. Occasionally, I feel good. But there are times when I feel lousy, especially those times when I'm bent double over the sink. The vomiting is really not as bad as Huda's time - that was when I vomited everything out and this yang diet would not have worked at all. So, I'm counting my blessings, appreciating the fact that I can at least nibble on some food this time round.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

An Hour, A Minute... A Second?

26 June 2008

My period which otherwise comes like clockwork is late. All my pre-menstrual symptoms did not appear this week. That will include the pimples which regularly pop in to see me one week before my period begins.

I'm feeling tired all the time now. I feel nauseous when I'm hungry. That is so strange. With Huda, I was nauseous all the time.

Am I?

I'm reluctant to take a pregnancy test. I think the test kits are overpriced and if it's negative, it's $15 all gone. And also, so that, if I were to have my period 2 weeks from now, I would not know that it was a miscarriage.

 

30 June 2008

My period is still not here. Not that I want it to come. I get pains similar to  gastric pains which make me wanna vomit each time I'm hungry. And I'm hungry every hour or so. Yet, in one sitting, I can't eat much. This is frustrating.

I feel tired. I could only stand up for 1 period in class just now. I spent the rest of the time sitting down and conducting lessons.

I still have not taken a pregnancy test. I know that this could very well be a severe case of stress. So stressed that pregnancy-like symptoms appear? Oh, no thank you. I don't need this kind of stress. But I do feel so stressed by work lately. I will NOT go there. I will NOT taint baby talk with talks of work.

Huda lifted up my t-shirt just now and patted my tummy and said, "Baby. Baby." After that, she treated my tummy like a kompang. Ouch.

I'm extremely hungry.

 

5 July 2008

So, it's true.  2 test kits showing 2 positive lines suggest that #2 is on the way.

I'm still hungry but eating everything results in me feeling queasy. The vomiting, however, is not as severe as that of Huda's time. But, it is still early days yet. I remember when I was about 6+ weeks with Huda, I told The Husband that all the vomiting is just in the mind because I managed to suppress them. The following week saw me bent double over the toilet bowl, retching my guts out. That's cockiness for you.

Based on online pregnancy calculators, this baby is due either on the 1st or 2nd of March.

And I've also made an appointment with a gynae. It's Tuesday, 3.20pm. The following day, I have a Big Thing at school so even if I'm issued with a one-month MC, I must go to school.

Now, I'm going to go through my mother's kitchen to see what little I can eat. I'm at my mom's place because The Husband is out and about running errands on this lovely Saturday. Which is normally what we'd do together with Huda in tow. But, I suppose, no more Saturday outings for the next few weeks. (I'm gonna channel all the positive energy I have to think that this morning sickness will end by week 10 or week 12, tops.)

Okay. Til another time.

 

6 July 2008

These gastric juices are too much. When I eat a tiny morsel of something, they wil go on overdrive and I will feel the sharp pains just mere seconds after I swallow the food. However, last night, The Husband grilled some steak and I had a tiny bit of it. I felt okay for minutes after and I thought, perhaps, meat is the answer. Maybe the gastric juices take a much longer time to break down a piece of meat. But, soon, came the sharp pain. :( So, I figured, I need to eat something else - something that will keep the gastric juices occupied for a lot longer - like a piece of Lego or something.

 

14 July 2008

On medical leave today. Uweek.

Dear Good Government,

In your new-improved package to make people procreate even more, can you please include a one-month leave for women in their first trimester? I feel so lembik these days.

 

------------

There. I am indeed pregnant. Alhamdulillah. Please keep me in your prayers. Pray that I'll have a smooth-sailing pregnancy and a healthy baby. Amin.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Soon

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.  - Oscar Wilde

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now that my break is coming to an end, the desire to be a sahm gets stronger.

But my (sometimes misplaced) sense of responsibility is too strong for me to simply leave now.

Sigh.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

World Without Strangers

I love the holidays.

With quite a few of my friends in the same profession, we often try to squeeze meet-ups during this season. And those who are doing something else will try to take half the day off to meet up.

Today I met up with my singleton friends. And looking at Huda's antics, one of them has sworn off parenthood. The jury's still out for the other two.

What did Huda do?

1. Drink water. Hold it in her mouth. Spray it back into the cup. And continued drinking from the same cup.

2. Dipped tissue paper in the cup. Used dripping wet tissue to wipe glass panels. And continued drinking from the same cup.

3. Used cup as a receptacle for chicken bones. And continued drinking from the same cup.

4. Climbed the partition separating us from the next table. Spied at the food on the next table and wanted whatever they were having.

And et cetera and et cetera...

One of them tried staring Huda down but, strangely, Huda would only be quiet for three seconds. Maybe Huda sees a gentleness about her. Hahaaa! The other one tried his frightening 'teacher glare' on Huda and it worked on her for about five seconds.

What does all this mean? It means Huda is not all that fearful of strangers anymore. Oh no. I'm sure it's good news but, you see, it means I have to work so much harder to contain Huda when we go out.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Ooops

I knew that my practical driving test was sometime in end April or end May. But work was complete madness in those few weeks with so many deadlines to meet and I had a nagging suspicion that I was going to miss my test.

Finally, today I steeled myself and logged on to bbdc. Here's what I found:

Test Date Session Warm-up Time Test Time Car Model Test Type Att Result Inst. No.
26/1/2008 Sat (Road) 1 08:25 08:25 P P3 - F 8888
6/5/2008 Tue (Road) 9 16:30 16:30 P P3 - A 8888

Oooops. It's over!

So, I will be good this time round and sign up for practical driving lessons with the school because I think I should be able to get an earlier date if I sign up with the school. I think I shall do all these on Tuesday.

Does anyone know how it works if I learn from the driving school? Do I need to go through everything from scratch and take a certain number of lessons before I can sit for the test? If it's going to be so, I may just go back to my old instructor but I have to be a lot more disciplined in going for lessons.

Diaries

I used to write almost-daily journals in those big corporate diaries that my father would receive mountains of at the end of every year. I would take one and use it for my journal. I wrote everything that happened to me that day, much like what blogs are to almost everyone today. Only difference is, my journals were for my eyes only so the writing was a lot more honest and raw. (Not that blogs are dishonest. It's just that once you are writing for an audience or the possibility of one, your writing will take a different slant and you may have to slash and burn or sensationalise depending on what your target is.)

A few days ago, my sister opened the top part of what-was-once-my cupboard and (thankfully I was there) found two diaries that belong to me, among many other stuff that I have conveniently forgotten about.

One diary was from the year 1988. I was in Primary 5 then. The other diary was from 1994. I was entering a new phase of life, having just completed my O levels and starting a new life in  JC. I took the 1994 diary away from my sis before she managed to open it.

My 1988 diary was so hilarious! I was studying in Jin Shan Primary School, a school which no longer exists. I wrote about my classmates and I truly hated the boys in my class. There was a boy who threatened to pull my hair out if I attended a certain function and apparently I also threatened to pull his hair out. I knew that I could not and should not sing in public even way back then. Hahahaaa! Growing up, I was very careful about the words I used. A lot of words were taboo to us, even words like 'stupid' and 'die'. Whenever my siblings and I played some games where we would shoot each other to death, I would say, "XXX dah aaaaaaaak." Aaaaaaaak means that the person has died; the assumption is when the person is shot (to death), he'll shout "aaaaaaaaaak" until he falls dead. My mom had a stillbirth in that year and I wrote, "My youngest brother aaaaaaaaaaak."

1994. My handwriting was significantly better. There were entries evey day except for the few weeks leading to the Promos (that's another word that I've just re-acquainted myself with - Promotional Exams, to ensure that we know enough to get us promoted to Year 2). Schoolmates, once again, figured greatly here. It's such a pleasure to read about the beginning of friendships with so many people whom I'm still friends with til today. Then there are friends whom I'm no longer in touch with. That just means that this holidays, I will be doing something that I used to do before life got busier (ie, I started working).  I'm going to write letters!! My younger sister was asking me why I did that. Weren't all my friends in Singapore? Yup. They were. But I just love writing letters and receiving replies. To me, receiving emails will never ever be the same as receiving letters. And you know that the energy invested in letter-writing is also not the same as that involved in emailing. It's just .. different. Back to 1994. There were many, many cringe-worthy reads but still, it was such an interesting year in my life and although part of me wished that certain things had taken a different course, another part of me understood why that was so. Am I cryptic or what. I will not be able to understand what I'm writing about when I read this a few years from now. Teehee!

After spending one night reading my diaries and reminiscing and reviewing a short history of my life with The Husband, I googled those I'm no longer in touch with to find out where they are. One has set up her own company, one has moved to Perth, another one shaved his hair for Children's Cancer Fund and quite a few are completely ungoogleble.

All righty. That's all for tonight!!

(Psst.. I have a pile of work to do but.. ummm.. tomorrow's another day, isn't it? Heh.)

 

Saturday, May 31, 2008

At 26.5

Huda is now 26.5 months and I have not written much about her lately. So here's her progress report (which I planned to do since last year) .

Hmm. Where shall I start? I think I shall write whatever comes to mind but do note that I cannot gush about my own child in public. I have that asian parent mentality - whatever that is. (I created that term myself so congratulations if you can accurately figure out what my big problem is.)

Huda is a happy child. She does not tell me that but I assume so from her actions. 

She's comfortable being with familiar people. In such situations, she will touch everything, run about, climb, blabber, make a mess and all other normal toddler-like actions. She's still the same in unfamiliar surroundings as long as familiar people are with her. But when someone new appears, she will grab my legs and hide behind them. She normally needs about one hour to get used to new people. That, I don't mind. Because it means she's a lot more manageable when we visit someone's place. Imagine the headache I'll face if all she wants to do when we reach someone's house is run run ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!

Huda cries when she doesn't get what she wants and when she's tired but still refuses her nap. I think that's the same for almost all kids. Sometimes, however, she'll throw tantrums when scolded. Her caregivers (her grandparents and all members of her grandparents' household) and her parents have absolutely no qualms scolding her when she has done something wrong. When she's scolded, she'll do any one of these three things.

a.       Try to change the subject by asking for 1) milk; 2) water; 3) any random family member who’s not at the scene of the crime

b.       Throw her toys onto the floor which will get her an even bigger scolding

c.       Run to me and hug me or hang on to my leg if I’m standing and ignoring her (this happens a lot if I’m the one doing the scolding)

 

She's saying a lot more words now. She surprised me a few weeks ago when she pointed to a man jogging and said, "Joo-ging." Ah. It's good to know that pointing out to what people are doing and telling her the names of the actions repeatedly work. She's also (finally!) forming 3-word sentences and sometimes 4-word sentences. We have not heard any 5-word sentences so far. She's mostly a Malay-speaking child because we are trying very hard to speak Malay to her. We believe that living here in Singapore, it is easier to pick up English than our own mother tongue. But that doesn't mean we don't speak English to her. It's just that we speak Malay to her a lot more. We are trying to develop good language habits in her. When we speak to her, we try not to codeswitch between languages.

We hope that growing up, she will be effectively bilingual.

 

She is now more interested in people in her age group. When we reach her grandparents' place on Sundays, she will immediately join all the little people and run around with them. She also has an (unhealthy - according to her father who now has to revise his earlier decision not to allow Huda to talk to boys til she's 40) interest in a boy called James. James is a 4-year-old boy who lives in the next block. Almost every evening, he will be playing at the open space in front of his block with his younger brother and father. Every day, as we walk home and are about to reach our block, Huda will start asking me, 'Mana Chem?' (Where's Chem? - her best pronunciation of James' name) But when she sees James, she will just stare at him while James asks me many questions about Huda. Once we are some distance away from James, she will wave and shout out, 'Bye Chem!' Sheesh. I don't understand. She also likes Jie Jie and Mei Mei from next door. She often rushes to the door when she hears them coming home and will sometimes blabber with 3-year-old Jie Jie.

 

She's now drinking Pediasure and Friso. I'm not comfortable giving her Pediasure alone because Pediasure is not milk. The first item in the ingredients list is corn starch. I will have to rethink giving her Friso because Friso uses skimmed milk - which is not what I want her to have if I'm trying to fatten her up. I'm looking for milk which uses milk in its entirety, not throwing out the fatty bits. Any suggestions?

 

Eating is still a challenge. It's difficult trying to figure out her pattern. One Saturday, I made french toast topping it with cheese and she ate one entire slice of bread. The next Saturday, I made her the same thing and she only ate the cheese. Sometimes, she only has half a tablespoon of rice for dinner. I've even tried force-feeding. It works sometimes but doesn't work most of the times. She doesn't even like transfats-laden fries which out of desperation, I plied her with. I suppose, I should take that as good news.

 

She enjoys playing Lego and doing puzzle board games. She has no interest in dolls. Ocassionally, she likes her teddy bear. Her kitchen set is real cos she is allowed to raid two drawers in the kitchen. Once, one Lego block was thrown just outside our front gate. She ran to the kitchen, took a ladle and tried to scoop the Lego back into the house.

 

She loves balloons. We are in for an eardrum-piercing time if she sees another child with a balloon and she has none. I love going to shopping centres on weekends because there's always a balloon giveaway. We are now smarter. We have at least one balloon (defllated, of course) in our bags just in case some random kid happens to be carrying a balloon and we can't detect the source of the balloon.

 

Okay. So that's Huda for now. Of course, there's a lot more about her that I've not written about. I hope I'll write them down as soon as I remember them so that I'll have a snapshot of Huda at this stage in her life. And in years to come, she'll be able to read this and find out what she was like when she was a wee little girl.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

A Lot of Everything

1. Sometime last year, I received the very pleasant news that one of my friends is pregnant. And now, she has just given birth! Yayyy!! Her pregnancy was fraught with complications and so was the birth but both mom and babe are doing well now. Welcome to the world, Shin Ee!

2. I'm growing old. It's confirmed. In this hot, hot weather, I need cold drinks. (Who doesn't?) I don't normally drink cold drinks. My drink of choice is plain water, at room temperature.

Yesterday, I had a glass of cold water and there was a piercing pain (what's the english equivalent of ngilu/nyilu - heck - i dont even know how it's spelt in malay) around my front teeth. I've got sensitive teeth!! Gaaaah!! How did that come about? I last saw a dentist end of last month and she *ahem* praised me for my good dental hygiene.

A quick search on the net shows that applying too much pressure while brushing is the main cause; it cause the gums to recede. The solution is to use a softer toothbrush and toothpaste for sensitive teeth. A change in toothpaste, I can handle. But a softer toothbrush?? I've always liked my toothbrush hard (don't you perverts dare try read too much into this) and the pressure I apply is about the same amount I use to scrub the toilet bowl. I might as well use a piece of cloth to gently wipe my teeth. Oh heck. I should also put up a poster in my mouth to welcome all forms of bacteria and plaque.

3. The head will come and look at me do my work this Thursday. Gulp. I very scared.

4. My grandmother is coming to Singapore this June. Yayy!! These past few years, she shuttles back and forth between her kampong in Melaka, her sons' homes in KL and us in Singapore. She's a very old lady now; age has caught up with her. She walks with a hunch, which Huda likes to imitate. Huda enjoys her company and I hope she enjoys Huda's company too. I must say that Huda makes her work up quite a sweat. There was once when Huda climbed up the dining table, which normally does not raise even an eyebrow among those who see her often. But my poor grandmother, who takes a long time to get from the bedroom to the living room, just zoomed from the sitting area to the dining table in a flash. I kid you not. In a flash. I just saw a blurred baju kurung zooming past me.

5. I had an amazing time catching up and chatting with my gal pals some Fridays ago (minus husbands and kids). It has been so long since I last caught up with them. It was fun fun fun!!! Considering that most of us are now reined by kids and can no longer go out without a single care in the world, the fact that we stayed out til amost midnight was almost a miracle.

6. We have a new camera and it's a Canon!! Yippeeee!

7. All right. I think that's all for now. I'm going to brush wipe my teeth and decide what to do this Thursday.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Oh Lizzie Dear!

When we first moved in some five years ago, we noticed a lizard problem. So, we had a fly swatter (or three) in every room, located conveniently so that we would only need to stretch to arm ourselves with that weapon of ultimate destruction.

Somehow, after some time, our interest in lizards waned and the fly swatter, once battered beyond redemption, got disposed off and not replaced.

Until a week ago. I noticed three huge lizard shit in the kitchen, just millimetres away from each other. I am very sure that the shit-owner had considered that space his toilet. So, I placed two sticky pads on the wall above the shit hoping that the rude lizard would get stuck and I imagined myself laughing at it as I throw the sticky pad and the stuck starving lizard down the rubbish chute. A week later, still no lizard on sticky pad.

Yesterday, The Husband was changing Huda in the room and I closed the door. Huda pointed at the door and said, "Ti-tak. Ti-tak." Cicak. Malay for lizards.

I looked at the direction she was pointing at and saw a huge mother-of-all-house-lizards staring at me. I shouted at my brother, who just so happened to be in the living room, to get a fly swatter for me. He took quite a while to find one and eventually emerged with a fly swatter that had definitely seen better days.

I whacked it, but the fly swatter failed me. (Or really, honestly, I just couldn't aim despite having that offending creature exactly in front of me, at eye level.) The lizard jumped off and both my brother and sister were shrieking too much to notice which way the lizard went.

Twenty minutes ago, I was about to iron some clothes when I saw a lizard. Not the same one I attempted to kill yesterday. This one was smaller. A teenage lizard. Thankfully, the fly swatter was within reach and I managed to whack it. It played dead for a few minutes. I went out to get something and when I came back, it had moved. Stupid. I whacked it mercilessly and threw it out of the window so that its remains could at least be of some use to the grass and trees outside.

Tomorrow, I'm getting more fly swatters.

And, I have tonnes to write about my life and that great weekend I had last week but I don't know why those entries are still not created yet. ;P

(Pssst. Aili, I was thinking of you each time I think of/see lizards. Hmmm.. not such a great connection, huh?)