Sleep & Talk

1. Huda and Sleep

I don't understand why it's so difficult for Huda to sleep. She resists it like it's her worst enemy. It's now 10.45pm and when I last checked, she's still not asleep yet. She went to bed today at about 9.30pm (a bit late; normally, it's 8.30pm). We did the usual winding down activity - drink milk, pee, brush her teeth, say her prayers. I generally don't read books before bedtime because she will have a million questions after that. Not a good idea when sleep is supposed to happen. Admittedly Sundays, today being one, are always extremely fun for her because she sees her gajillion cousins and play, play, quarrel, cry, play, play and play some more. So, she's still a bit high when she goes to bed.

But this problem is not a uniquely Sunday problem. It's almost a nightly occurrence. As I nurse Farah to sleep (bad habit, I know) and they share a bedroom, I will be with them when they both go to bed. And Huda will still be awake when I'm done nursing Farah. I'll leave the room and her eyes will still be wide open..

Sigh. What am I to do with this girl? It is not healthy for kids to sleep so late.


2. But, of course, there are endearing moments. While all of us lie down on the mattresses (the bed is merely a showpiece; H refuses to sleep on it, preferring instead to sleep with F on the mattress on the floor), Huda will kiss each of us on the cheek. Cute. And if I had not talked to her about her day in school, she will ask me to ask her about it.

3. Her Day

I like reading Dr James Dobson's Focus on the Family articles in Today newspaper. The advice given is highly practicable and relevant. The fact that he is from a religious organisation helps too because we share the same conservative values.

One of the things which I read some time ago is about how to engage your children in a conversation. Some may think that asking a child 'How was your day?' is enough and shows some kind of concern but that is not quite right. If you want to engage your child, you shouldn't ask him 'What did you learn in school today?' either. Unless your child is a genius and enjoys lessons and pays 200% attention when the teacher is teaching and laps up every single word that the teacher says. Congratulations to you if you have such a child.

But if you don't have such a child, you should ask specific questions such as: 'What did you play during recess?', 'What did you eat?', 'Who did you play with?'. Basically, specific questions about the fun part of school.

When the child is in a chatty mode, you can include the more academically-inclined questions such as, 'What did Teacher F talk about in class today?'/'Did Cikgu ask you to colour anything?'/'What questions did Cikgu ask you today?'/'Did you ask your teacher any questions?'.

So far Huda enjoys talking about her school day and she looks forward to the conversations that we have. I hope and pray that this goes on for the rest of our lives. Keeping the channels of communication open is extremely important in building a good parent-child relationship.

(Edit #1)
Time check: 11.15pm. Still not asleep. I know because when I stood at the doorway, she immediately pulled her hand from Farah. She has this habit of holding Farah's hands once I leave the room.

(Edit #2)
Time check: 12.50am. I went to bed around 11.30pm. 12.15am, Farah started crying. I went to the girls' room and Huda made one of those sudden movements which very obviously showed that she was not asleep. I stared at her and she continued to pretend to sleep. But occasionally, she opened her eyes a little bit just to check if I was still there.

I am pulling my hair in despair. Why why why? Insomnia is not hereditary, is it? And even if it is, it doesn't affect kids this young, does it? I don't think it's the Sunday high that's keeping her awake.

For me, on nights when I cannot fall asleep, I know very clearly why I can't. Most of the time, it's because I wasn't cerebrally challenged in the day for days on ends and the part of my brain that wasn't used much starts getting overactive when the rest of the body starts to wind down. Well, that's how I try to explain my sleeplessness. If that were true, I am going to try to exhaust her mentally each night by making her do sums, read more pages in the Iqra' book, learn spelling, recite and memorise verses from the Quran, do more sight words recognition... I hope this will work. I'll give it a go for a few nights and hopefully, she'll sleep earlier. Big sigh.