Motivation

What drives a child to excel?

Ceteris paribus, what makes a child from household A want to do well in life while a child from a very similar household B remains lackadaisical in his/her studies?

How much of it is innate and how much of it is environment?

Sigh. Like TheHusband and I agreed upon, if we know the exact formula, all of us would be winners in parenting. Wouldn't that be nice?

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We want our children to do well in school. Why? Perhaps we think that doing well in school means a more secure future. That is not wrong, is that? In most cases, such an association is true. There are, of course, situations in which those who did not do well in school went on to achieve greatness later in life. But, these cases are not as common and not the rule.

What us parents want is for our children to do their best in school. Do their best. That means, put in 100% of effort. Or 90%. Not 10% effort and expect parents to supply the answers all the time. If, after putting in close to 100% effort, the results are not sterling, it is okay. It is really okay.

What is not okay is if the darling child stares at the comprehension passage and expects all the information to float into the head. Merely staring is not enough, my dear child. No matter how dreary the topic is, the passage has to be read and dissected. An absence of careful reading = No efffort = Angry Parents.

Some would argue - what is the point of knowing why Mr. Chen in that comprehension brandished a knife in the wee hours of the morning or finding the height of the triangle or whatever the value of x is. You'll never need that in real life, anyway.

Now, my child, I'll tell you why you need to do such things in life. Because, you can't always do things that you like. When you go to work, you have to do things that you may not enjoy. But you do them anyway. If you don't, your bosses will not be pleased with you and you may not have a job the following month.

Working hard in school forces you to work your brains. It forces you to do things you may not particularly enjoy much. When you taste the small successes in Mathematics, it makes you feel good about yourself. You will realise that even though you don't like it much, you can do it and can be pretty good at it if you put in your 100%.

At your young age, I am your benevolent dictator. I WILL tell you what to do. The assumption is, at the cusp of adolescence, you may not know what is good for you. I will show you the path. I may force you on the path, if I have to. I do this for your own good. So that you will have more options in future. So that, you will have a secure future long after I've left this world. Ultimately, it is to ensure that you can be a good Muslim who fully uses all the faculties Allah has given you.