6 December

Mustafa Centre
1. I just came back from Mustafa, minus TheHusband and Kids. *gleeful* My parents wanted to go there and TheHusband and I thought it was such a wonderful idea. We planned to tag along. Unfortunately, the kids were tired. It was Sunday after all, the day when the kids meet up with their cousins and play x 1 000 000 and forgot all about their nap time. So TheHusband, knowing that I die-die wanted to get this thing called Pink Himalayan salt from Mustafa, stayed home with the kids and made them sleep, while I go gallivanting about town Mustafa.

Vroom vroom
2. Somehow, being away from little charges that require my urgent attention all the time,  I started thinking about my driving test. (Somewhat unrelated: I realise I'm gonna have a problem with babysitting when I go for lessons because my parents are going to be away for 2 weeks! Gaaaaaaah! I never made the connection when I booked my new test date and I'm in trouble now!)

I wondered about my panic attack during my test. I can't recall the last time I was that nervous about anything. Yes, before exams, I always got a bit jittery but once the examiner says 'Your time starts now', I'll just start writing and my anxiety went away.

In 2008 when I had my first driving test, I was nervous but again, it went away the moment I started driving. Then, I failed because for every component of the driving test, there were quite a few ticks in the section 'Failure to confirm safety' ie., all the blind spots. At that time, I just started working again after being on unpaid leave for a year and it was a stressful period for me.

So, I had this flash of insight and figured that my extreme case of anxiety during the test was caused by an absence of nerve-wracking moments in my present life. As a result, all my anxiety, instead of being spread out throughout the year, was channeled to this one moment.

In other words, to avoid this panic attack, I have to introduce many, many moments of anxiety and near-nervous-breakdowns into my life. I have slightly more than 4 weeks to do this. By the time I take the next driving test, I'll be completely unfazed. My heart will beat gently. I'll be as cool as a cucumber.  (I wish.)

3. I also had this other thought.

That, even if I fail this coming test, I will get a new test date and go for it til I pass and get that license. Getting a license was my goal a long time ago but I pursued it half-heartedly. Now, I want to make sure that I'll get it, "(even) if it's the last thing I'll ever do."

Well, I hope it won't be. But I can't help quoting Gargamel because his line shows how tenacious he is. And I better channel some of that tenacity my way.

Salt
4. Pink Himalayan salt: I read in a friend's cooking blog that it makes her baked chicken taste a lot nicer and I'm a sucker for things that supposedly enhance my (very mediocre) cooking. So, that was my motivation to go to Mustafa.

Friends
5. I'm very very pleased with how December is shaping up. I've made plenty of plans to meet many old friends. (Not that my friends are old. We are as young as the skin at the back of our hands lets us pretend to be.)  I've met some (friends, not old skin). Gonna meet more. But dont tell the kids my plans. They might schedule their fever and various other illnesses this month.

Skin
6. Two weeks ago, my sisters and sis-in-law were talking about their skincare regime. (I have none.) They quoted various sources and they all agreed that the single most important thing that a person must use is sunblock. The age when you start using sunblock is the age your skin will be locked in and if you are lucky, you'll be forever-that-age. (I honestly think that's a bit far-fetched but my sis-in-law has truly flawless skin and naturally rosy cheeks.)

I have been lucky to have a relatively problem-free face (occasional pimples; but none too big to cause a panic attack) but the fine lines are appearing already. The back of my hands which are routinely exposed to the sun looks like it's 42 years old. I must get that sunblock soon. In the meantime, I'm going to wear tops with extra long sleeves so the back of my hands can be covered as much as possible and I'll start pulling my tudung forward a lot more so it can also act like a sun visor.

(I actually wanted to load some pictures of the girls but our network server has gone to sleep and refused to be found by the laptop I'm using so I cant get to the pictures which are stored there.)

That means, this is goodbye. Tata!