From one of her friends (or so Huda claims), she has learnt this vile Malay word for vagina - p/e/p/e/k. It sounds so vulgar that I can't even say it out loud. When she first picked up this word, she would just say it out of the blue. She would be playing with utensils in the kitchen, humming to herself and suddenly she'd say it. Initially, I tried to distract her hoping that she would forget the word soon enough. Then the word appears more and more frequently and I simply told her not to say it again and that it means vagina. Now, vagina is a word I use because it sounds a lot less crass.
(Sidetrack some more: Sex education begins with the correct naming of body parts. So, we tell her (in English - because I can't do this in Malay with all the crass-sounding words for the male and female privates) that boys have penis and girls have vagina. And of course, we also told her that no one should see or touch hers and neither should she go round looking and touching other people's.)
So, one day, she was sitting down, and talking to herself and suddenly she said p*p*k. See? I can't even write the word down the second time because it does sound very crass, doesn't it? Sigh. I had to tell her off. I said in my no-nonsense tone which is essentially nagging: 'Why did you say that word? Didn't I tell you what that word means? What does it mean? Right. It means vagina. Why must you say vagina? Do you see vaginas flying around?"
And at this point, I simply could not keep a straight face anymore. But I can't laugh while scolding, can I?
So I stopped and hid behind a laptop and laughed.
How do other parents do this?
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Normally, my blog posts are for everyone but because of some words used here, I'm afraid that unsavoury characters might do a google for such words and find those words here and somehow associate my blog and pictures in my blog with such vile stuff. I know I'm being overly cautious bordering on paranoia but the world is a scary place and I'm not taking any chances. By the way, this was supposed to appear in a super-long (read: rambling) blog entry that I'm still in the middle of but because of my strict censorship rules, this short prose found itself here, all by its lonely self.
14 comments:
Ya it does sound crude. Is faraj or rahim the correct word? hehehhehehe...just wondering the malay scientific word.
And it's quite funny to read 'vaginas flying around'...hahahahahaha
The words the kids learn from their friends....tsk tsk tsk...macam mana agaknya kalau aku eh? Tunjuk cili?
LOL!!! Nad kau ni buat aku ketawa terbahak2 seh! And yes, I burst out laughing reading abt flying vaginas. Must be cheap ones...eew. ok sorry.
Btw, I tell my boys it's 'private part', shall move on to 'penis' soon.
Faraj is correct, but rahim is actually womb. This reminds me of my fren who gave birth to a son a few yrs back. Her 1st was a girl, she refers to that as faraj. Then she asked me what I tell my son to refer his wee wee as. As I remembered her teaching her daughter to say faraj, which is in Arabic, why not just teach the son 'penis' in Arabic. She said, "It's called 'zakar'. But what if he goes to school and has a classmate whose name is Zakaria??" - ok disclaimer...no offence to sesiapa nama zakaria eh...
lol! flying vaginas do sound funny and here I am, laffing in front of the screen. fortunately aisyah hasn't started learning the p*p*k word. she has learnt the word t*t*k. i refer them as n*n*n whenever she saw me bfding her sister though. hmm..maybe i should refer it as buah dada next time yah? but that will make her "hah? buah aper tuh, ibu?"
Flying vaginas! Haha.. Pinjam Rohana punya kekata Melayu... Rahim berterbangan..? Faraj melayang? Hehehe...
For both male and female parts, I just use ' private parts'..
For the boobs, I use 'breast' or err... sesekali... eee tak malu nampak 't*t*k'...
with reference to flying vaginas - you know how it is when you nag. your mouth moves faster than your brains. so that's how the flying vajayjays get in the picture.
liza - cheap ones? hahahaaa!
liza & rohana - faraj is what it is in arabic/malay. but i'll just stick to english when it comes to sex education. the malay words kalau tak tahu, takpe. kesian jugak kalau dia ada kawan nama zakaria.. heheheheee...
norza - when i'm breastfeeding, i call it susu badan. she has also picked up the word t*t*k from her friends in school but i told her to call it tempat keluar susu badan. heh! and because it's terribly long, she doesnt bother saying it. and, in the same vein, i dont teach her the malay word for bra. knowing this cheeky little girl, she would love to repeat the word coli 7 million times in public. so, i told her that it's baju kecik. i dunno when i'll teach her the right terms. ;p
seri - faraj melayang? macam title cerita hantu. dulu ada hantu t*t*k. sekarang hantu p*p*k.
hehe..
initially, i wanted to just call it private parts. but some months ago, kat dalam berita minggu, they had a section on what to cover when educating children about sexual matters. according to the article, by the age of 2/3, the child should know the correct term for the private parts. and i think that's about all i can do when it comes to sex education. cos the article has a steady progression of what to cover at which age and by the age of 6/7 (if i'm not mistaken lah), we should tell them about sex. aiyoooohh.. i dunno how i'm going to do it.
Sex education eh...hmmm memang garuk kepala.
I tell Sarah that her private part is 'apam'. Hahahahah...mcm kuih 'apam'. Will teach her the correct term soon.
She calls boobs t*t*k and i'm ok with it. Kenapa kau tak refer baju kecik as bra? Less obscene kan. Memang Malay words for such things sungguh memerahkan muka. Well that's the beauty of the language.
Good sharing of experiences/opinions from everyone.
I told Irfan it is a "bird", even now actually. But not too long ago, I did inform him that the correct name is penis. As for Iman, I told her it is a "bird" too and she will ask me why hers is different from her brothers :)
Aiyah, I really don't know when to start and how to start. With the things on TV as well....
Hmmm... not an easy task teaching kids sex education. We are expected to teach the kids the proper terms but somehow the Malay words sound somewhat crude ya? Maybe it's because as we grew up, these words are associated with swearing / maki?
Personally, I don't have any problems using the words 'penis' and 'vagina' with Iman & Ihsan. Where the Malay term is concerned, I use the word 'kemaluan'. Tapi recently, Iman asked what the middle finger means cos one of her friends showed the middle finger to her teacher. We just told it's a rude sign and that it shouldn't be used cos it might anger or upset people. But I think our explaination was not enough for her. Hmmmm....
Hahahaha! I can just imagine Huda going around saying COLI!!!
And yes, I remember my sis teaching my niece to say apa. Til now I never looked at apams the same way...heh.
liza & rohana - why apam ah? uh.. wait... i think i'm beginning to imagine things. aaaarrrrgggghhhhhhh!!!!!!! nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!
elyana - i think naming the parts is the easiest step in the sex education programme. but, beyond that.. sigh. religious and moral values play a very important role, obviously. but, i honestly dont know if i can ever tell them what sex is. tough.
arlynnz - WHAT??! iman's classmate showed a middle finger to her teacher? she's only in k2, isnt she? goodness! how terribly rude!
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BY THE WAY, on saturday we were at IMM and there was this section where kids can make sand art and stuff with their parents but i didnt want to do it because we didnt have the time. huda was extra whiny and insisted on doing it and when we dragged her away, she continued whining and spat out the word t*t*k. repeatedly.
(i have a feeling she secretly reads my blog and does these things i write about.)
okie tt's scary...all the external influences our kids are getting at such a young age..and they get even more now since most start school earlier than we do..we started school like when, K1 and K2 back then..
i've taught hazim his private is his "penis"..he's very curious abt it and wen we are changing his diapers, he likes to errm touch it..betul betul curious
hhahahaa...actually Nad memang I think they learn a lot at school...Wisyah also..one day she came home and started to say, mama why your t*t*k big my one small...terkejut jap aku....
tea - i think that's the challenge of parenting in this day and age. and heh heh.. hazim is curious about his penis? i think it's normal, isn't it? my nephews are curious about theirs too at a certain age.
eity - hahahaa! and, what did you say to that?
:)...I told her it's becos I'm an adult...she's still growing. Stress....baru nak ajar kakak...adik dah banyak soalan..
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