All About H

I wrote almost all of this in the middle of November but didn't do anything about it til today. So if you are particular about the exact dates of the incidents, then, um, well, too bad.

 

H is an extremely interesting person. She is very, very creative when it comes to, umm, well, anything. Except the drawing kind. Let me share some of her stories here. Some I may have written about earlier so forgive me for sounding so typically like your mother when you were growing up - perpetually on repeat telecast.

 

1. Ever since she went off diapers, whenever we scolded her and put her in the naughty corner, she'd cry and wail and tell us that she needed to pee. So, we had to pull her out of the naughty corner and into the toilet.

A few weeks ago, I scolded her. For what, I can't recall. I held both her hands in front of me and stared at her and spoke in a very firm voice about what she had done wrong and how upset I was. Of course she used her tried-and-tested 'I need to pass urine.'

So I scolded her some more. Told her that she had better hold her pee in for the next 3 minutes when she'll be languishing in the naughty corner. 

Remember I was holding both her hands while scolding her?

She then said, "Huda nak korek hidung."  (I want to dig my nose.)

 

2. We don't allow her to say 'I don't friend you'. Two reasons. One, it is grammatically incorrect. Two, she needs to learn to work out her issues with her friends and not just use abandonment as a technique to resolve issues. Of course, we are very sure that she's still using this with her friends and we accept that we don't have complete control over her. (Sigh)

However, sometimes, when she's angry with us, she will mutter under her breath 'I don't friend you'. And what follows will be a string of nonsense words which sound suspiciously German/Italian/Greek/Thai/(insert random foreign language here).

I shudder at the thought of all the things she'll be muttering under her breath when she's in her teens.

 

 

3. A few months ago, she kept on waking up in the middle of the night and would be screaming for me to sleep with her. It will start off as a simple case of crying and when she's fully aware of her surroundings, she will start screaming for me. And she will CRY OUT, REALLY LOUDLY, at whatever time of the night/morning it is. And she will do it syllable by syllable. NAK MAK TI DOR KAN x 1 000 000. (Want Mak to sleep with me)

When she's done about a gajimillion of that and cannot get my response because I was hell-bent on the supernanny technique (ie, just ignore it), she will change her 'song'.

(By the way, she did all these while sitting on her bed because I, erm, moved my hand quickly and my hand would land on her with great force whenever she tried to get out of bed. Anyway, when this episode happened, after my, erm, hand movements, I did not take any chances and locked our bedroom door so she would not be able to creep into our bed when we were sleeping.)

Next was NAK SU SU. NAK MAK BU AT KAN SU SU. TA NAK AYAH BU AT KAN SU SU. (Want milk. Want Mak to make milk. Don't want Ayah to make the milk.) Multiply that by another gajimillion times.

Then it was, NAK KEN CING. TAK BO LEH TUNG GU. (Want to pee. Cannot wait.)

Immediately after she said this, she realised her mistake because she wears diapers to sleep. So, she added NAK KEN CING DA LAM TOI LET. (Want to pee in the toilet.) 

What followed was A DA LION. (There's a lion.)

(There were a few more but I can't remember what they were but they had TheHusband and I in stitches inside our room.)

After about close to 45 minutes of this nonsense, she grew tired and went back to sleep.

I am so grateful that my neighbours didn't call the police because of the noise.

 

 

4. She absolutely hates sleep and making her take her naps has been a problem since she was an infant of just a few months old.

Now, she's aware that she must sleep otherwise I'll become MonsterMak but that doesn't mean that she goes to sleep without a fight.

Most of the time, either TheHusband or I will lie down beside her for about ten minutes or so.

After we've read stories and recited prayers, we'll tell her to sleep. Her response will be, "Huda tak tahu tidur." (I don't know how to sleep)

Close your eyes, we'll tell her. And she'll say, "Huda tak boleh tutup mata." (I can't close my eyes.)

Once, I had almost fallen asleep beside her when I suddenly woke up because I heard voices (or rather, a voice). The little girl was sitting beside me, talking away, reenacting scenes from school. I scolded her and told her I don't want to hear her voice. I almost fell asleep again but when I woke up, she was sitting up again, her mouth was moving but not a single sound escaped and her hands were moving about very animatedly.

Now, the instruction is not go and sleep. It is, close your eyes (otherwise I'll shut it for you using scotch tape), your arms must remain very still and your mouth must be closed. Of course, just before this afternoon's nap time, her legs were high up in the air.

 

5. When it really matters, she refuses to say sorry.

Sometime in March/April, it was her friend's birthday in school. The boy had a Thomas the Toy Train cake and all the kids were crowding around the cake. The teacher gave very specific instructions to the kids not to touch the cake. Of course, they hear it as, "The first person to bury his/her face in the cake is a brilliant child."

One boy touched just a teeny eeny weeny part of the cake. He was forgiven. Our dear girl? Her entire arm came into contact with the side of the cake.

The teacher insisted that she said sorry to the boy, Ashraf.

What came out from her mouth? "Sorry, Thomas."

Another time (trust me, this is one of many) she did something to my sister and we insisted that she apologised by saying sorry. A fierce scolding session (from the father) and tearful cries (from the daughter) followed. She kept on saying in between her cries, "Huda tak boleh cakap sorry." (I cannot say sorry.)

 

6. Neither can she say please (until last week)

Last week, we went to Burger King and bought a cup of Milo with our burgers. We soon finished our burgers and the cup of Milo and left BK. When she realised that the Milo was gone, she wanted us to buy another cup.

But the queue was very long and we thought of getting it elsewhere or perhaps getting another drink altogether from somewhere with no queue. The little girl, however, insisted on The Milo and nothing else. We went to McDs to get it.

So we bought it. Simple. End of story, right? Wrong.

I asked her to say, "May I have some Milo, please?"

Then it began. "Huda tak boleh cakap please!" (I cannot say please)

I told her that she wasn't getting any Milo without the word please. Of course, she insisted on not saying please. All the way home, theHusband and I took sips and after each sip, we gushed dramatically about how wonderful the Milo tasted. All the way home, the little girl kept on saying that she couldn't say please.

By the time we reached our block, she started sucking her index finger and thumb and said that that was her Milo and it was very delicious. Between her cries, she offered her 'Milo' and when I told her that my Milo was more delicious, she cried even more and said that hers was a lot better.

No, she didn't have any Milo at all that night.

Miraculously, the next morning, it was please this, please that, please for every single thing.

 

7. You know the emergency button in the MRT? No, she didn't press it. Thank goodness!

We were in the carriage for the wheelchair-bound and the emergency button is quite low in such carriages.

Her finger was roaming dangerously close to the button and so I told her that the button was to be pressed in a real emergency. I then tried to explain what an emergency was.

I wanted to talk about people getting very bad asthma attacks. So, I said, sometimes people cough and they may turn blue in the face.

"Cough cough. Mak, Huda batuk." (Fake coughs. Mak, I'm coughing)

No, I said, it's for people who cannot breathe and it's so bad that the person's face turns blue.

Or, if a fight breaks out in the train, I added.

Immediately, she hit Farah's leg.

"Huda gaduh dengan Farah. Boleh picit?" (I fought with Farah. Can I press the button?)

Thankfully, the journey was a short one.

 

8. But of course, despite everything, we love her and she loves us and her sister.

One night/early morning last week, Farah was very fussy - thanks to a blocked nose. She kept on waking up in the middle of the night crying and as they now share a room, so did her sister.

Frustrated, I told Farah that I would put her in the playpen in the living room where she could cry as much as she wanted to. I would close the bedroom doors so that the rest of us who wanted to sleep could sleep.

Guess who jumped to her defence?

Huda immediately started crying and begged me not to put Farah outside.

 

 

PS: Apparently, 3-year-olds are inclined towards turning their lives into a soap opera so there is never a dull moment for parents of 3-year-olds.