Showing posts with label tantrums. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tantrums. Show all posts

Sunday, November 30, 2014

30 November 2014

(I resolve to stop writing titles. I will just write the date I start writing each post.)

Ihsan

Ihsan is now almost 4 months old. I am so very grateful that he has been an easy child to take care of. I only realise just how easy he is when he was cranky this morning, possibly because he had very little sleep yesterday.

He,like Middle Sister (as she would like to be known as now) Farah, is extremely curious about everything. Yesterday, when we were at his paternal grandfather's place, he stayed up during the entire 6 hours or so that we spent there taking in the sights and sounds which are less than familiar to him. I let everyone carry him, only taking him back to feed him, as I'm afraid that in the coming months when he can recognise faces, these faces that he does not see as often would only be howled at should they carry him. So, now, when I can enjoy some freedom and can have my arms to myself, I better enjoy it. The moment we left, at about 9 pm, he fell asleep in the baby carrier only to be rudely jolted awake at about 10.30 pm as I insisted on bathing him before changing him into his pyjamas. 

This morning, he was not his happy cheerful self when he woke up. He normally just whimpers softly for his milk. When he's ready to wake up for the day, he coos and smiles; such a happy camper! But this morning, he cried each time he was put down. It was the first time in his entire life that I had to carry him, pacing back and forth, to calm him down. Not typical at all. But after a long afternoon nap, he was back to his calm, cheerful self. 

Ihsan's Schedule

He normally wakes up 2-3 times a night for his feeds. He normally sleeps by 8-9 pm. He sometimes wakes up at 11pm for a round of milk, but not always. His next feed will be around 1 am followed by another one around 4.30 am. Around 8 am, he wakes up for a brand new day. 

He takes naps throughout the day. A few hours in the morning and a few more hours in the afternoon. 

When he's awake, and if I'm not busy doing housework (of which there is no end), I will spend the time talking to him. Well, errrr, I hope that's enough stimulation for the boy. He doesn't need colorful objects et al hung above him, right? He does see the rotating fan when he lies down on the sofa. Hur hur. 

Me & Birth Control

When I was first admitted to the hospital last July, Dr KT Tan had a long conversation with me and strongly recommended ligation as another pregnancy could very well end my life. But, after that long conversation on Day 1 of my hospital stay, I had too much time to google the side effects of ligation and came across websites upon websites of women who supposedly suffered from Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome. So, in the end, I decided to go for Intra-Uterine Contraception Device (IUCD). As Dr KT Tan didn't visit me anymore after that, there was no one to tell me that IUCD wasn't suitable for me. All the other doctors I spoke to seemed to be okay with IUCD for me. Unfortunately, during the C-section, they found that my womb was paper thin. I suppose that was why after I delivered, Dr Tan came to visit me and chided me for changing my mind about ligation. Prior to this, I had been a model patient, always listening to her. 

In the follow-up appointments, another doctor from the team of doctors who treated me, Dr Sim recommended Implanon. Research shows that among all the birth control methods, this has a very high success rate, higher than ligation and IUCD. 

And so, Thursday came - the day for me to be fitted with the Implanon rod. 

I have a tendency to over-research (that's how I came across Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome) so I did not want to do that again. I kept strictly to the medical websites, steered clear of forums. But I couldn't help googling 'Implanon and breastfeeding'. Official research shows that the volume of breastmilk was not affected and only an insignificant amount of the hormone seeped into the breastmilk. But, some women complained that their supply was affected. 

I became wary. 

So, I prayed and prayed for this Implanon to have no negative effects on me. Please please please. 

Day 1-2 of Implanon insertion - my milk seemed to take a beating. I have always felt very engorged when I wake up in the morning but the first two mornings, I felt rather, well, just slightly full (of milk) when I wake up. I remembered what one of my friends told me, "The breasts can be trained" and fed the little boy non-stop. I knew my milk supply was affected when one side no longer sufficed. Prior to this, each feeding session required only one side. But on Friday and Saturday, I had to feed him from both sides. I didn't press the Panic Button. Yet. (Panic Button = "TheHusband, we need formula milk!"

Day 3 - I woke up to a wet top and damp bed sheet that smelt of milk. Hooray! The milk supply is back. Insya Allah, I will always have enough milk for my baby.

Other than the slight reduction in milk supply for the first 2 days, I have not had any negative side effects and I hope for it to remain that way. Amin!

Back to Implanon. It's a small rod, the size and length of a matchstick that is inserted just below the surface of the skin. The procedure does not take long. The doctor will first clean the site with alcohol, then inject a local anaesthetic to numb the skin. That will be the most painful part of the procedure. 1-2 minutes later, the doctor inserts the Implanon rod. If you wear long sleeves, make sure it is loose and can be pulled all the way up. After that, the nurse will clean the site. She will place a plaster where the rod was inserted. A piece of gauze on top of it. And a bandage that goes round and round your arm. You can remove the bandage after 24 hours. The plaster has to be changed and TheBraveHusband is tasked with this job. TheBraveHusband said that the insertion point looks like a tiny pimple now. 

I do not know if the rod will show. I have not really inspected the site. If it does, there goes my swimwear modelling career. Not. It will be somewhat interesting to have this matchstick-like protrusion on your skin. Oh the tales I can weave with this to scare little people! (I came up with some fantastic tales to frighten innocent little people when I had braces once upon a time. Hee!)


Big Sister & Middle Sister

I am actually now quite wary about writing too much about them. Especially the Big Sister. She is a big girl, after all, now, and I don't want to embarrass her in future. I want to be honest here and write about everything, not just the good stuff. 

(I can always delete the entries, right?)

Until I have discussed this with her extensively, I think she will only make occasional appearances in this blog.

Now, the Middle Sister is all of 5 years old. Feisty like what-lidat (to copy my nephew's favourite simile; I can feel all EL teachers rolling their eyes). You don't want to cross her path and make her mad. First, there is her scream. Very loud. Not a girlish shriek, mind you. She does not have a girlish voice. Then there is her piercing stare. Even a hardy cactus will wilt under that glare. And finally her stomping which attempts to wake the dead. 

When does she employ this? When she perceives that injustice is done (more eye rolling). It's terribly annoying what they see as unfair: "You only want to play Kakak's game; you don't want to play my game!" (We've been playing Snap/Memory Game/Snake and Ladders almost every single day. One day, Kakak wants the family to play Monopoly. After a fun game of Monopoly - which went past their bedtime - she takes out her Snap cards and wants us to play Memory Game.)

"You always let Kakak carry Ihsan. I don't get to carry Ihsan!" (Never mind the fact that after 5 seconds of carrying Ihsan, she will ask somebody to relieve her. Or the fact that she tends to squeeze Ihsan too much. Or the fact that she just carried Ihsan in the morning.)

"You always sit beside Kakak. You don't sit beside me."

And a host of other "You always... You don't..." 

I really dislike that adverb, always. Don't you?

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But she is also the more expressive one between the two. Huda is not one to open up and share her emotions with others. Farah is very expressive. She declares her love for one and all. "Bye bye Nenek! I love you!" She hugs me when she is going to school and when she comes back. She openly declares that she misses me when she's in school. When I tell her I love her, she asks, how about Ayah/Kakak/Atok/Nenek/insert family member. So now I tell her, I love you and Kakak and Ayah and all our family members, near and far. 

The Big Sister is quite different here. She is not as expressive as her sister. Outside her school, she doesn't want to hug me. Huaaaaarrrggghhh!!! The Big Sister is growing up too fast! 

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Sometimes, I ask them, if you can exchange me for any mother, who will you choose? They are pretty undecided about this one. I have yet to hear a name being mentioned. What I am so grateful for is that they are very close to their cousins and all my siblings and in-laws are as neurotic as I am. Since we are all about the same, swopping mothers with their cousins does not seem to bring any benefit to them. (There will still be highly limited screen time. So, no fun.)

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All righty! Must stop now before I accidentally write so much about the Big Sister without consulting her! 

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Tantrums (again)

1. The tantrums are getting worse. I'm talking about the younger one, of course. It has driven me to... indifference. You want to cry? Go ahead. You want to be left alone? Go ahead. I'll just hurry back home while you choose to wail for the entire of Woodlands. The result is startling, though.

This morning, for the nth time, (oh yes. it was only morning and i've already lost count of the number of times the tantrums have been thrown) the little girl stood rooted to the spot, refused to budge and screamed and cried at the top of her voice. (And we're talking about a very high top here. Not some dainty little voice.) We were just beside our block and I was at my wits' end. Instead of taking a few steps forward and stopping some 3-4 metres ahead of her (which I normally do), I just walked briskly to the lift without turning back. And guess what, she followed me (still screaming, of course). So that's what I've been doing today.

I just feel very, very sorry for my neighbours. It was about 10-ish on a Sunday morning. Some people do enjoy sleeping in on a Sunday (not my kids, of course; they woke up at 6.45am this morning). Sigh. Parenthood gives us a thick hide. 

2. I don't remember the older girl having tantrums this bad but the older girl didn't have an older sibling from whom she could learn about the effectiveness of tantrums. 

3. I am not going to write much more today. My head is aching. I blame Scent of a Woman, that Korean drama. I still cannot understand why the lead actor of Korean dramas cannot be a dashing not-so-teenybopper-kind-of-guy actor. I really prefer my male lead to be more mature. But Scent of a Woman, despite its boyish lead actor, is a good drama! It's predictable, somewhat. But there are enough plot turns and twists to make you stay up til 4am to finish the story. Of course, I'm regretting it now but it's that good.

4. I'm not sure if I'm even coherent now but I think I should sleep. Especially because I'm beginning to imagine that the laptop is going to fall off the table. 

Sunday, October 02, 2011

Woes of the Parent

1. One of my worst fears is that multiply will suddenly disappear from the surface of the internet with all the rants and raves I've recorded over the past few years. There is a niggling little voice at the back of my mind telling me to save everything somewhere but, of course, that poor voice has been ignored.

2. Farah. I'm sure I have written somewhere here that Farah has a very loud voice. So loud that one taxi driver commented, "Waaah! Your girl voice very loud ah? You let her eat what?"

"A couple of amplifiers, Uncle."

3. Her tantrums are getting worse. A few weeks ago, she saw Dora shoes at Metro. She insisted on them and of course, our answer is no, No, NO. She got upset and just plopped herself down, wailing. We ignored her and stood around waiting for her to come to her senses. Did she? She stopped crying. But she continued sitting there. Even after we've threatened her with abandonment, she remained at her spot. (Mind you, there were shoppers; it was about 8pm.) We grew tired of her so TheHusband picked her up only for her to refuse being picked up, crying for us to just leave her on that spot. She was flailing about, straightening her arms, refusing to be carried. Arrrrggggghhhhh!

4. The above-mentioned tantrums happen at least 4 times a day. 

5. Then there was the epic totally-uncalled-for wailing that happened just minutes before a marriage solemnisation ceremony - when everyone in the room was quiet and waiting for the ceremony to begin. Arrrrggggghhhhh!

6. But I'd like to think positive about things. I'd like to think that God is fair and if things are difficult/embarrassing now, it's only because later on, things will be easier. Amin! 

7. Huda. Huda is no longer taking things quietly when Farah bullies her. She fights back. So, Farah has had her share of being pinched and squeezed whenever she annoys the sister (which is 80% of the time).

8. Then, there's this problem of Huda the worrywart. Whenever we threaten to leave Farah (because she would just stay rooted at a spot during her tantrums), Huda would take it seriously. She worries for Farah so much but she's not capable of explaining her feelings clearly. So it becomes too frustrating for Huda who then takes it out on Farah by pinching her. Sigh. 

9. I think we are not dealing with Farah's tantrums appropriately. Threatening to leave her on her own does not work. Farah doesn't care and Huda gets so worked up. Aiyooh. It's time  for me to seek Dr Google's advice on this matter. 

I'll write again soon. Hopefully, by then, we would have resolved this drama OR (the better option..) Farah would have outgrown her propensity for theatrics.