30 November 2014

(I resolve to stop writing titles. I will just write the date I start writing each post.)

Ihsan

Ihsan is now almost 4 months old. I am so very grateful that he has been an easy child to take care of. I only realise just how easy he is when he was cranky this morning, possibly because he had very little sleep yesterday.

He,like Middle Sister (as she would like to be known as now) Farah, is extremely curious about everything. Yesterday, when we were at his paternal grandfather's place, he stayed up during the entire 6 hours or so that we spent there taking in the sights and sounds which are less than familiar to him. I let everyone carry him, only taking him back to feed him, as I'm afraid that in the coming months when he can recognise faces, these faces that he does not see as often would only be howled at should they carry him. So, now, when I can enjoy some freedom and can have my arms to myself, I better enjoy it. The moment we left, at about 9 pm, he fell asleep in the baby carrier only to be rudely jolted awake at about 10.30 pm as I insisted on bathing him before changing him into his pyjamas. 

This morning, he was not his happy cheerful self when he woke up. He normally just whimpers softly for his milk. When he's ready to wake up for the day, he coos and smiles; such a happy camper! But this morning, he cried each time he was put down. It was the first time in his entire life that I had to carry him, pacing back and forth, to calm him down. Not typical at all. But after a long afternoon nap, he was back to his calm, cheerful self. 

Ihsan's Schedule

He normally wakes up 2-3 times a night for his feeds. He normally sleeps by 8-9 pm. He sometimes wakes up at 11pm for a round of milk, but not always. His next feed will be around 1 am followed by another one around 4.30 am. Around 8 am, he wakes up for a brand new day. 

He takes naps throughout the day. A few hours in the morning and a few more hours in the afternoon. 

When he's awake, and if I'm not busy doing housework (of which there is no end), I will spend the time talking to him. Well, errrr, I hope that's enough stimulation for the boy. He doesn't need colorful objects et al hung above him, right? He does see the rotating fan when he lies down on the sofa. Hur hur. 

Me & Birth Control

When I was first admitted to the hospital last July, Dr KT Tan had a long conversation with me and strongly recommended ligation as another pregnancy could very well end my life. But, after that long conversation on Day 1 of my hospital stay, I had too much time to google the side effects of ligation and came across websites upon websites of women who supposedly suffered from Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome. So, in the end, I decided to go for Intra-Uterine Contraception Device (IUCD). As Dr KT Tan didn't visit me anymore after that, there was no one to tell me that IUCD wasn't suitable for me. All the other doctors I spoke to seemed to be okay with IUCD for me. Unfortunately, during the C-section, they found that my womb was paper thin. I suppose that was why after I delivered, Dr Tan came to visit me and chided me for changing my mind about ligation. Prior to this, I had been a model patient, always listening to her. 

In the follow-up appointments, another doctor from the team of doctors who treated me, Dr Sim recommended Implanon. Research shows that among all the birth control methods, this has a very high success rate, higher than ligation and IUCD. 

And so, Thursday came - the day for me to be fitted with the Implanon rod. 

I have a tendency to over-research (that's how I came across Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome) so I did not want to do that again. I kept strictly to the medical websites, steered clear of forums. But I couldn't help googling 'Implanon and breastfeeding'. Official research shows that the volume of breastmilk was not affected and only an insignificant amount of the hormone seeped into the breastmilk. But, some women complained that their supply was affected. 

I became wary. 

So, I prayed and prayed for this Implanon to have no negative effects on me. Please please please. 

Day 1-2 of Implanon insertion - my milk seemed to take a beating. I have always felt very engorged when I wake up in the morning but the first two mornings, I felt rather, well, just slightly full (of milk) when I wake up. I remembered what one of my friends told me, "The breasts can be trained" and fed the little boy non-stop. I knew my milk supply was affected when one side no longer sufficed. Prior to this, each feeding session required only one side. But on Friday and Saturday, I had to feed him from both sides. I didn't press the Panic Button. Yet. (Panic Button = "TheHusband, we need formula milk!"

Day 3 - I woke up to a wet top and damp bed sheet that smelt of milk. Hooray! The milk supply is back. Insya Allah, I will always have enough milk for my baby.

Other than the slight reduction in milk supply for the first 2 days, I have not had any negative side effects and I hope for it to remain that way. Amin!

Back to Implanon. It's a small rod, the size and length of a matchstick that is inserted just below the surface of the skin. The procedure does not take long. The doctor will first clean the site with alcohol, then inject a local anaesthetic to numb the skin. That will be the most painful part of the procedure. 1-2 minutes later, the doctor inserts the Implanon rod. If you wear long sleeves, make sure it is loose and can be pulled all the way up. After that, the nurse will clean the site. She will place a plaster where the rod was inserted. A piece of gauze on top of it. And a bandage that goes round and round your arm. You can remove the bandage after 24 hours. The plaster has to be changed and TheBraveHusband is tasked with this job. TheBraveHusband said that the insertion point looks like a tiny pimple now. 

I do not know if the rod will show. I have not really inspected the site. If it does, there goes my swimwear modelling career. Not. It will be somewhat interesting to have this matchstick-like protrusion on your skin. Oh the tales I can weave with this to scare little people! (I came up with some fantastic tales to frighten innocent little people when I had braces once upon a time. Hee!)

Big Sister & Middle Sister

I am actually now quite wary about writing too much about them. Especially the Big Sister. She is a big girl, after all, now, and I don't want to embarrass her in future. I want to be honest here and write about everything, not just the good stuff. 

(I can always delete the entries, right?)

Until I have discussed this with her extensively, I think she will only make occasional appearances in this blog.

Now, the Middle Sister is all of 5 years old. Feisty like what-lidat (to copy my nephew's favourite simile; I can feel all EL teachers rolling their eyes). You don't want to cross her path and make her mad. First, there is her scream. Very loud. Not a girlish shriek, mind you. She does not have a girlish voice. Then there is her piercing stare. Even a hardy cactus will wilt under that glare. And finally her stomping which attempts to wake the dead. 

When does she employ this? When she perceives that injustice is done (more eye rolling). It's terribly annoying what they see as unfair: "You only want to play Kakak's game; you don't want to play my game!" (We've been playing Snap/Memory Game/Snake and Ladders almost every single day. One day, Kakak wants the family to play Monopoly. After a fun game of Monopoly - which went past their bedtime - she takes out her Snap cards and wants us to play Memory Game.)

"You always let Kakak carry Ihsan. I don't get to carry Ihsan!" (Never mind the fact that after 5 seconds of carrying Ihsan, she will ask somebody to relieve her. Or the fact that she tends to squeeze Ihsan too much. Or the fact that she just carried Ihsan in the morning.)

"You always sit beside Kakak. You don't sit beside me."

And a host of other "You always... You don't..." 

I really dislike that adverb, always. Don't you?

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But she is also the more expressive one between the two. Huda is not one to open up and share her emotions with others. Farah is very expressive. She declares her love for one and all. "Bye bye Nenek! I love you!" She hugs me when she is going to school and when she comes back. She openly declares that she misses me when she's in school. When I tell her I love her, she asks, how about Ayah/Kakak/Atok/Nenek/insert family member. So now I tell her, I love you and Kakak and Ayah and all our family members, near and far. 

The Big Sister is quite different here. She is not as expressive as her sister. Outside her school, she doesn't want to hug me. Huaaaaarrrggghhh!!! The Big Sister is growing up too fast! 

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Sometimes, I ask them, if you can exchange me for any mother, who will you choose? They are pretty undecided about this one. I have yet to hear a name being mentioned. What I am so grateful for is that they are very close to their cousins and all my siblings and in-laws are as neurotic as I am. Since we are all about the same, swopping mothers with their cousins does not seem to bring any benefit to them. (There will still be highly limited screen time. So, no fun.)

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All righty! Must stop now before I accidentally write so much about the Big Sister without consulting her! 

November 2014 Updates...

I have a few hours to myself now. Ihsan can nap for 2-3 hours in the daytime now. Huda has gone off for a Tarbiyah Programme conducted by sister-in-law's company, Little Muslim Readers. Farah is at the childcare centre. I'm supposed to straighten out the big store room but this blog requires some updates. Heh.

In no particular order and with no organisational skills/planning put into this entry, from the top of my head...

1. November 24

I turned 37 yesterday! Alhamdulillah, I'm still alive, in pretty good health, blessed with a good husband, lovely kids, a supportive extended family, very good friends, in decent financial state.. what more can I ask for? Alhamdulillah. Allah has been really kind to me and I am always grateful. (Forgive me, Allah, when I sometimes complain and whine. I  try to cut it out but I am a weak human.)

I complain sometimes about insects which find my home extremely attractive. Like these creatures that decided to wave at me and (according to Haryati) wish me a happy birthday yesterday..

Stuck on the outside of the living room window. Yikes.

Talking about homes - I have stopped looking for a bigger flat. I like the view outside the window too much to give up this place. What we'll do instead is to renovate the entire house sometime next year or year after next. There will be lots and lots of hidden storage space, airconditioning and there should be no need for window dressings. I actually hate curtains and it's such a waste of greenery outside when it's all covered by curtains. We have to engage an ID consultant for this. TheHusband and I only have vague ideas of our dream design and we need a professional to make sure that it happens.

Of course, a key thing that we will have will be some kind of 'invisible netting' to prevent all the insects from coming in. Yes, all those greenery come hand in hand with creepy crawlies but surely there is a way to tell them to stay out of my house!

2. Ihsan

He is now almost 4 months old! 110 days; 3 months 18 days to be precise. (I didn't count. I used an online duration calculator.)

He smiles and laughs a lot. He is quite a guzzler, drinking milk noisily as if he is famished. He wakes up 2-3 times at night which is fine by me. He sleeps in a cot beside my bed but always ends up on the bed with me  because I tend to fall asleep while feeding him.

He used to poo about 6 times a day. Small amounts of poop but boy, are they stinkbombs! Now he poos once or twice a week only. But it's a whole lot of poop which requires many many wet wipes and a complete hose down after all the wiping.

Knowing that this is most likely my last and final child (and perhaps the fact that I am an older mom therefore calmer, less kiasu etc), I am a lot less uptight about many things. I am not checking developing milestones every other day and ensuring he meets them. As long as he is developing well, I am fine. So what if he is not turning yet. Eventually, he will. I remember what a worrywart I was with Huda. I was concerned that she was taking a long time to start walking. But, it doesn't quite matter at which point you start, because you will get there someday. And so by the time Farah came around, I had made some realisations so I was relaxed about her toilet training. No point forcing it on her. When she's ready, she's ready. And so Farah practically toilet-trained herself.

And then, there's this poem I read recently. It was one of those poems which made the rounds on Facebook. About how this particular thing you do for your child could very well be the last time you do it for your child. No, not in that morbid way that you or your child will die. But, the fact that your baby grows up so fast that today, you are bathing him in his plastic bathtub and tomorrow (okay, more like many months from now), he will be standing up without the need for a tub. So I don't grumble (much) and just enjoy the moments.

Anyway, this boy enjoys his bath time very much. He kicks the water, smiles and coos during bath time. Absolutely adorable. And here are random pictures of him.

Must take pictures of him crying. Heh.

Kakak Farah squeezes and squashes him on a regular basis.

Kakak Huda and Ihsan look alike, yes?

Kakak Farah boring him to tears, no, sleepyland with a book about fairies. 

I took all three kids on a long MRT ride all by myself. Felt accomplished.
Hehe..

Actually, I wanted to write about the girls too but I think that has to wait because I absolutely must must must do housework now. So, goodbye for now!

New Throne Room!

HDB has kindly selected our area for the Home Improvement Programme.

Initially, TheHusband and I were not at all keen on getting new toilets as our almost-12yo toilets were still in pretty decent condition. So, we said Yes to a new door and a new gate but declined to change our toilets. A month before our block was due for the renovation works, they did a watertest for all the units which said No to the toilet upgrading. One of our bathrooms failed. So, since we were going to do one, we might as well upgrade the other.

And that's how we end up with this story for today.

My 'ol common bathroom. In perfect working condition and it had that mini floor trap. But this bathroom was sacrificed because "since we are going to put up with dust from the hacking of one toilet, might as well do the other one."

This is a story for all those who are going to go through this. On the day before the works started, I googled for experiences of people who had gone through this but did not find much info. Hopefully, for anyone who's going through this, this info would be helpful.

We were assured that if you do the toilet upgrading, it will take 10 working days (Sundays & public holidays not included). You should be present on Days 1, 9 & 10. On other days, you can just get anybody to housesit. If you are working, it will be good to take Days 11 and 12 off too so that you can give your house a complete scrub down.


This is a step-by-step guide on what to do and how to survive the upgrading process.

PRIOR to the works:

1. Find alternative homes for your pets, children and any sick or elderly persons for about 3 weeks. (You wouldn't want them to come back immediately on Day 11 what with the dust still floating about.)
(Thank you, Mak & Abah, for taking us in for 2 weeks!)

2. Get your new bathroom fittings. You are getting a new bathroom. Don't be so kiam siap, try to save money and reuse your old, mouldy, rusty fittings in a new bathroom. If money is really tight, the grab bars (up to 8 per bathroom, if I'm not mistaken) can be used to hold your shampoo bottles, towels etc. But you can get pretty cheap and nice stuff from Ikea. We got ourselves stuff from the Grundtal range - nice, stainless steel stuff.

3. This is the most important. Get many many big black trash bags (unused, of course) and wrap up all your belongings in them. Every single thing. Your kitchen? Don't even think of cooking in the 10 days. The toilet in your kitchen will be spewing dust on every horizontal and vertical space in your kitchen and beyond. (Beyond = Living room, corridor etc)

Pack your cutlery, your plates, your kettle, your rice cooker, your recipe books etc. Pack pack pack them all in those black trash bags. Pile them up neatly in one corner. Cover your fridge (unless you want a cloud of dust to descend into your fridge each time you open it). Cover your oven, toaster, washing machine, stove, microwave oven. Cover your bed, your TV, your computer table, your dining table. Cover everything.

On Day 9 of the renovation works, I realised that the paint shop near my house sells huge 9 feet x 13 feet plastic sheet for only $1.50. I wish I knew about this. It would make the post-renovation clean-up work so much more manageable.

Choose a room which will be your sanctuary during those 10 harrowing days. Pack up everything and only have the necessities out.

Your home will look like a cross between a war-torn area and an Ebola zone. That sanctuary for you to retreat to is absolutely essential. Otherwise, you will get so depressed by 3pm of Day 1 that you might need to check into the Institute of Mental Health.

4. If there's any 'special order' that you want, go to the office prior to the renovation and tell them what you want. I wish I had asked them to rearrange the placement of the wall tiles. I will regret this decision for the rest of my bathroom's life.

They also said that the bathroom doors are fixed to open on the left side. We wanted the hinges to be on the right side and TheHusband had to speak to the contractors and be very firm about it before they relented. And that's another thing. If you want any 'special orders', make sure the one who does the talking is the one who is more firm. Me? I can't do it. I can only talk to students and parents. Talking to contractors require a special skillset which I do not possess.


OUR STORY: We were both reluctant (read: lazy) to do much before the renovation. We covered some stuff in the kitchen and that was it. We were also under some false illusion that the dust level will be tolerable.

 Day 1 is the most horrifying day. At 8am, the supervisor and his team came, explained to me what would happen and then, very quickly, they put up their own plastic sheets. I was naive enough to think those sheets were enough. They stuck the sheets (which had been used many times in previous homes and therefore already had a thick layer of dust) to the ceiling using rolled up masking tape. The sheets would provide some kind of barrier between the rest of the house and the path that the workers would take to the bathrooms.

They lay out these vinyl sheets on the floor and protect your doors first. See the toilet there? That's my bathroom which had a little leak when they did a watertest but no leaks during regular use.

The plastic sheets around the bed. Covered the wall fans with huge plastic bags.

By 10am, full blown hacking of the old toilets had started. Oh boy. I stepped out of my sanctuary into a cloud of dusty gloom and doom.

Goodbye toilet - the one with the mini floor trap and tiles I like, even if they look dated.

By 12 noon, I was miserable. I thought those plastic sheets which gave the whole house an enhanced gloom factor was going to stay up for the entire 10 days of renovations.

Kitchen - everything was pushed to one side and they put up these plastic sheets which might have helped a teeny weeny bit in reducing the amount of dust on the surfaces.

By 3pm, I thought I was losing my sanity.

Huuuaaaarrrrggghhhh!! My good common bathroom that had no problems...

By 6pm - the scheduled end time - the work was still not done!

7.30pm. Finally, they were done. They said the bathrooms in my house were made of batu - stone - and were particularly difficult to hack. One of the workers said that was the first time they had to stay that lack for the hacking process. Errrrrr... Then what? Make my bathroom out of paper and plastic? But I do sympathise with the workers. I hope they are given overtime pay.

And I was depressed. The house was in a dusty mess. The kitchen had unforgivable dust everywhere. All I wanted to do was stay at my mother's house for the entire duration. But TheHusband was working so I had to be there on weekdays.

Day 2 was a Saturday. TheHusband had the Housesitter duties for that day. There was more drilling and dust but nowhere near as bad as Day 1.

The works for each block were done in stages. For my 4-storey block, my flat, the flat beside mine,  the flat below mine and its immediate neighbour started first. The following day, the next four units started theirs. So, for the first 4 days, hacking was going on all the time and there was a free flow of dust.

The dust was depressing. I decided to clean the kitchen as best as I could on Sunday. TheHusband said that it would be a futile process but I insisted. So I wiped what I could, covered up the stove and various other appliances in the kitchen, washed the plates that were not covered and when they were dry, packed them all in plastic bags. After all the reno works were over, I was so glad I did this. It made the post-reno clean-up a lot easier.

Days 3 - 6 were mostly cement work, waiting for it to dry, more cement work, applying some waterproof material and more cement work.

Our previous toilet had a shower kerb. To send the waste water from one side to the other side, we had a mini floor trap. Water from that mini floor trap was sent to the main sewage pipe via a pipe that was placed beneath the tiles. Now they told us that they could not make the mini floor trap as that is not what they are supposed to do. We can still have our shower kerb but we will have a hole in the shower kerb and water will flow from the wet area through the supposed dry area and then into the main floor trap. NOT what we want but that was the way HDB decreed things to be.

Later on, somewhere around Day 7 when all the cement work was done and tiling work had started, a neighbour said, if we had put our foot down, we could get our mini floor trap. WHAT???

(insert choice expletives)

In the meantime, one pleasant outcome of this was the kampong spirit it caused among the neighbours. We were mostly milling about along the corridor and we often pop into each other's flats to check on the progress of the work. Most of us do not exchange more than a hello but during this period, we become best buddies and chit chatted along the corridor. I could also count on my neighbours to take care of Ihsan while I used the replacement toilets at the void deck.

So it was Day 7, another Saturday, therefore TheHusband's turn to housesit. It was the day of the tiling and we had already regretted not visiting the office earlier so that we could rearrange the placement of the wall tiles. There were three different tiles used for the walls: light cream tiles, yellow-ish tiles and small narrow tiles often used as dividers. We wanted the top half of the walls to be light cream, bottom half yellow and the divider tiles separating the two. But, we did not visit the office. So, we have to contend with HDB's artistic, stylish designs for the rest of our toilets' lives. Hopefully we will outlive the toilets.

Shower kerb - for some reason, the tiler decided that he would put the hole for the shower kerb in the middle of the shower kerb. (insert choice expletives) TheHusband was monumentally upset and as the tiler could not understand a single word he said, he got our neighbour to do the translating. The tiler insisted that that was what he would do and so TheHusband called the supervisor. Supervisor came, spoke to the tiler and tiler had to redo half of the floor tiles.

Also, prepare your own tiles that match the kitchen tilesthat shall be placed at the entrance of the toilet. Otherwise, you will have a sudden explosion of yellow tiles in a sea of grey tiles.

See that sudden appearance of yellow, and not even nice yellow. A dirty yellow. Sob.

Day 9 - Husband had taken the day off so that he could tell the workers exactly where to place the bathroom accessories. This was also a day to find out all that you are upset with and for them to fix whatever you find troubling. So after the entire day was over, TheHusband thoroughly inspected both bathrooms so as to spot all issues that could be rectified the following day.

Day 10 - Handover day. At least 4 different workers came to fix the issues we had. By 5.45pm, all was done and I signed the various documents to signify that everything was over and I would no loner have these workers coming in and out of t he house.

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Post-Renovation Clean Up is a mighty headache. 3 to 4 rounds of sweeping, vacuuming and mopping cleared up the dust in the living room and bedrooms. But my kitchen tiles are an absolute nightmare. The tiles we chose some 12 years ago have very rough surface with so many grooves and tiny crevices. The dust that gets trapped in there simply does not want to come out. I swept the floor, vacuumed at maximum suction power, went down on my knees to wipe every stubborn tile. But the dusty feel is just too strong. I think I have to wash the kitchen. But the cleaning that I did had caused a sprain in my back. (Tip: If you had not exercised for a year, do some stretching and warming up before embarking on the cleaning project. Seriously.) So until my back is okay, the kitchen will remain depressingly dusty.

In the days to come, I have to open up every cabinet and wipe the dust off everything. Dust entered through the tiny sliver of a gap between the doors and settled on the shelves inside. (cry cry cry)
So, please please please get that big plastic sheet from the paint shop and cover everything.

Post-renovation clean up is still ongoing, especially in the kitchen. There is really no shortcut to the cleanup process but if you had put in a lot of effort prior to the works AND if you do not have tiles with rough surfaces, your clean-up process will be that much easier.

The End.

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Final Verdict (after using the toilet for a week or so) - (will be updated periodically)

1. 5 days after the works were completed, we had to get the workers to redo the grouting in the bathrooms. Just 5 days later, the grouting had turned greyish. The grouting was not flush with the tiles so dirt collected in the crevices. It was annoying having to spray all the dirt into the floor trap after every use of the toilet.

2. Never, never have a shower kerb if you are not getting a mini floor trap. Due to the absence of an underground path for water to travel, I could never have a completely dry half in the bathroom. It is a major annoyance.