My driving test is tomorrow and the butterflies are already doing somersaults in my stomach. Urgh. This feeling of extreme nervousness will be my downfall if I do not keep it in check. But, how?? How do I get rid of it?
Last Friday, I waited for my instructor at the driving centre. When I saw all the testers moving to the cars, my stomach just lurched! And it wasn't even me doing the test! Gaaah!
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When my firstborn, Huda, was just a few months old, I took her to a park where there was a slide no more than 2 metres high. I remember how I felt afraid of going down that slide despite having gone down slides a gazillion times without any fear when I was a kid. I attributed that feeling to old age.
Now that I'm old, little things that never bothered me in the past make me jittery now - looking down from the 20th story of an apartment, going down slides, taking roller coaster rides etc. I guess this is also why my grandmother (who is most of the time lost in her own world thanks to dementia) will wake up from her stupor and rush to my daughter the moment she climbs up the dining chair. Growing older makes you a worrier and you think of all the worst possibilities in any situation. You lose the recklessness and bravado of youth - which would have given you a degree of (over)confidence which in turn will help when taking a driving test.
(Note to my daughters: Once you girls turn 18, I'll herd you off to a driving centre to pick up driving. Don't wait til you become a senior citizen.)
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So, back to the driving test.
I've been going for lessons daily this past week and I have to admit that I've been driving pretty well. I didn't climb kerbs or even touch them. I parked the car nice and straight. But what does that matter when shaky hands and a muddled head rule the day? Sigh.
I'm hoping for divine intervention. (However, sometimes, when we ask Allah for help, He can always say no because He knows what's better for us - a chauffeur, perhaps?)
I've been performing solat hajat, asking Allah to soothe my nerves, help me pass the test and after passing, make me a good and safe driver who does not cause any harm to people or things. My friend who just passed her test a few months ago told me that she performed the prayer for more than a month prior to her test. She also shared with me a verse from Surah Al-Kahfi that she recited continuously throughout to calm her nerves. She's the same age and she agrees that age is a factor that affects our performance during the test. It's those old nerves at work, I tell you.
Sigh. I am already getting cold feet (and hands) thinking about the test tomorrow. Pray loads for me, everybody!
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Jan 10
I passed! I did okay at the circuit but after making a boo-boo on the road, I proceeded to make more silly mistakes which prompted the tester to say, "You must improve, ah."
By then I thought I was a goner. I just hunched my shoulders and hung my head low thinking that I will have to repeat this entire saga again in 2 months.
So, imagine my surprise when I passed. :D
Alhamdulillah.
9 comments:
u passed u passed! Alhamdullilah!! surah al-kahfi is good to read on every friday too, just to share..but i'm sure u know better!
and i agree, with age i hv become more cautious too, not wanting to take crazy roller coaster rides included, cos' thinking more of my dependent too, i.e. hazim. haha!
and CONGRATZ again for passsing!!! yahooooooo! next, buy car? ;)
Yay yay yay!!! Congrats!!!
yati & aili - thanks!
yati - i am more cautious not so much because i think of my dependents. if i think that way, i'll most probably be paralysed with fear when doing anything - even walking under HDB blocks. i'm not exactly sure what i fear when i was about to go down the slide but i did remember thinking that it was too steep. *rolls eyes* can u imagine that? i think when we were younger, all slides were simply not steep enough.
surah alkahfi should be read on fridays? oops. something i've never done. only read yasin on thursday nights.
and buy car? errrrrr... not too soon, if ever. the car has to be dirt cheap so that i dont need any loans or just a minimal loan amount. it has to be built like a tank but must be small so that i dont have trouble maneuvering it. i dont think there's a car that can fulfill all criteria (especially the cheap part) so getting one is a bit tough.
congrats Nad! I know what u mean abt getting old. Not so long ago, I told myself I had to take the 'Viking Ride' at the amusement park. It was a mistake! I was yelling ,"Stop it!" all the time thinking about my 2 sons. I've lost my edge.
Just to share on surah al-kahfi daripada buku 'amalan surah-surah pilihan'
i. Sabda Nabi saw"sesiapa yg membaca surah alkahfi pada hari jumaat, maka bersinarlah cahaya daripada bawah kakinya hingga ke langit.Untuknya cahaya dihari kiamat dan diampunkannya antara dua Jumaat."
(HR. Ibnu Katsir)
Insya Allah... Amin.. :)
abt slide- i remembered it being high too..and made of batu..so very the slippery when we slide down...Wheeeeeeeeeee!!
car- a'ah sey, the price of the cars these days are mad crazy..! my sis has been using such car-rental service (a few hrs of rental then u park back at the designated area, forgot wat's the term called) ever since she passed her driving a few years back..
thanks for sharing, yati! must amalkan now when i'm still on npl and have a lot of time.
car rental - it's called car co-op, i think? but rental is only available for those who have been driving for more than 3 years. i dunno if i can make it as a real driver or not. i was way too slow yesterday and my sister has almost given up on me. we'll see if she wants to babysit me again later.
suraya - lol! viking is not THAT scary, is it? unless you are sitting at the end. then again, i havent been on a viking for a looooong time. having said that, we are planning to go to a major amusement park soon. i think i should go on at least one scary ride to make it worth our money.
I'm late but still...congratz, Nad!!!! :)
errr. i think you all can hold off the congratulations. today was my third drive around the neighbourhood and for some strange reasons, i still sangkut at this place where i'm supposed to do something like a directional turn. and the place is wide enough for 2 cars. *shakes head in despair*
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