Weak 12

Week 12 I think I jinx myself sometimes.

Each time I say that I'm getting better (trying to work on the positive thinking, y'see?), it'll get worse. So, this week, I'm a vomitty old woman.

I've been eating mee soto for lunch every day but this week, I just could not look at mee soto anymore. Just the thought of it sent me reeling to the toilet bowl. Eep.

Week 13 The baby looks good. S/he's 7.1cm now, right on track for a 13-weeker baby-in-the-womb. It pleases me to know that the baby is growing well, despite my losing 3kg in just 4 weeks. People who saw me recently noticed that my butts and cheeks are gone. Which is not such a bad piece of news if I were not pregnant. Unfortunately, this is not the time to lose weight. I'm lighter than my pre-pregnancy weight but I'm thankful that I was 45kg before I got pregnant. At least, I had some fats lying around somewhere and not the emaciated little thing I was some years back.

I also had a hormone jab on my right thigh which hurts like hell. The nurse warned that the jab was painful so I grit my teeth and clenched my fist when the jab was administered. After she withdrew the needle, I told her, a bit too cockily, "Not so painful leh." Then. the. pain. kicked. in. I thought I was going to be paralysed. There was a sharp pain in the area where the needle was inserted. And the pain spread rapidly. I hobbled out of the room and waited. Then I hobbled to the counter, clutching my poor right thigh. After that, I hobbled some more to the taxi stand.

Week 14 It's the beginning of Week 14 and I'm slowly crawling out of my era of morning sickness. Yesterday afternoon saw me with a queasy stomach and vomiting out foamy saliva. This morning, I vomited out 3/4 of my sahur. It's the first day of the fasting month today and I am not expecting much out of myself. If I can fast, I'll fast for the entire day. If I can't, I'll just have to break my fast earlier. During my first pregnancy, I managed to fast for the entire month except for one day when I felt exceptionally weak. Even then, the moment I broke my fast with a sip of water, the water came pouring out almost immediately. It was really pointless eating or drinking then.

But, each pregnancy is different and so is this. I feel a lot better this time round than my first. 'Better' is of course a relative word cos I know many people who are having a much easier time than me. But I should not complain lah. I must always remember my mother who had it bad 8.5 times.

Week 15 It's the end of Week 15. I wrote an entry for W15 earlier in the week and I was quite sure I posted it but it just disappeared. This week was another okay week. (Hooray!) I vomited again just now, though. I was at my table at work when suddenly I felt something rising up my throat. I couldn't make it to the toilet in time and thankfully, there was a sink in the office for me to expel the vile foamy saliva that bubbled up my throat. 2 weeks ago, I vomited on a Monday. Last week, it happened on a Sunday. And, as expected, today, Saturday, was the day I vomited. I thought that was all the vomiting that I would do but noooooooo... after I broke my fast, out came the chicken rice my sis-in-law prepared.

Tomorrow is the beginning of Week 16 and I should be very much in the second trimester. So, listen up my body: there will be no more vomiting and lethargy. Got it?

Some Thoughts

1. 9.69 seconds is the time I need to sit up from a lying-down position on the sofa.

2. 0.01 second? I can't comprehend such a tiny fraction of time because my life is presently in slow-motion.

3. Is it right to say that you've won a silver when actually you've lost the gold because you have already won the silver when you won the semi-finals. So, when you lost the finals, it should be lost a gold, shouldn't it? But, well, it's just semantics, I suppose.

4. Grrr.. I've been looking forward to the National Day Rally. But, I gotta wait til tomorrow 8pm. (Unless I manage to get info from someone I know who's now sitting in the audience in the rally.) Obviously, I'm dying to know what pro-family measures will be introduced. I have a whole lot of ideas. But, ultimately, I think there must be real work-life balance. I was surprised to learn of a Blue Sky policy which was supposed to ensure that civil servants leave the office by 6pm on Fridays. Hellloooooooo civil servants, do you leave the office by 6pm on Fridays?

For there to be more babies, people must have time to relax and unwind. I'm not just talking about married people here. People who are single must have time to go out, engage in acivities they enjoy and hopefully, meet the love of their life along the way. As long as people are married to their work, it is impossible for people to enjoy what life has to offer; not everybody meets their life partners while studying or working.

To start off, a 4-day work week is most ideal. But, even with the present 5-day work week, I know a good number of workaholics who go back to the office on Saturdays. How sad is that? I once had a supervisor who told me, "I don't work on weekends." If more people were to do this (me including), I'm sure the birth rate will go up. But how is this ever possible? We sometimes have impossible deadlines that require us to work through the weekends and the wee hours of Monday morning.

Then, I have many, many ideas about helping families through pregnancy and the post-birth period. But, I think I'll stop now because I'm feeling queasy. (Today was a vomitty day. So much for thinking that I was getting better towards the end of Week 11.)

Psst.. To my friends who are reading this and who are without multiply accounts (I think there are all of three of you.. hur hur hur..), I put up some pregnancy-related entries but I think you gotta have a multiply account before you can access those pages because I may have mentioned a thing or two about w0rk and you all know how touchy that topic can be with the very very big bosses so, I gotta monitor who does the reading for those entries..

Week 11

13 August 2008 This week 11 brings mixed feelings in me. A friend lost her baby at Week 13 and another one is nursing two ill children to good health. I can only pray for good health for them and I also pray that this child I'm carrying will be healthy.

(I am not one of those people who cannot hear bad news during pregnancy.)

15 August 2008 My first trimester is almost coming to an end. And, miraculously, my pregnancy is getting better. I managed to walk back from my mom's place this evening, saving me almost $5 in taxi fare (Yes, all the surcharges are freaking ridiculous). I was winded by the time I reached the foot of my block but I was still alive.

I'm still vomiting occasionally, most often in the morning. Yesterday, I vomited the instant 3-in-1 teh tarik I made. I'm learning to avoid food and drinks that cause me to vomit (rice and plain water mostly - and what I discovered yesterday - coffee creamer and instant 3-in-1 drinks, also yoghurt-based drinks and their family members - lassi and yakult, for example).

I'm still not eating the amount of food I used to eat in my pre-pregnancy days but I have faith that my appetite will come back and my stomach will soon expand to fit in more food (presently, it's the size of a walnut after the gastric juices have eaten up 90% of it). I'm also drinking only about 2-3 cups of fluids a day. I know it's not much but if I drink too much, I'll just end up vomiting everything out.

Not being able to drink plain water worries me a bit. Plain water has always been my drink of choice so I'm not sure if my body knows how to handle all the extra sugars I'm taking. I fear I'll develop gestational diabetes with all the sweetened drink. So, I dilute everything. Including milo. Imagine milo that comes in a pack. I'll pour a little bit of it into a cup and then add water. Sounds awful, doesn't it? At work, I'll drink soya bean and ask for lots of ice. I really, really hope I won't develop gestational diabetes because both my mom and sis had it during theirs. As it is, my appetite is not really that great and if I have to watch what I eat, that will just result in me not eating anything much. (It also doesn't help that I have a thing for durians these days - which is a very good yang food.)

Anyway, I foresee that I may not be writing much with regards to being pregnant in the next few weeks. I started off wanting to document each week because of my too-eventful first pregnancy. I wish I had a week-by-week account of what I felt and what I went through then. Unfortunately, all I did was diligently complained to a group of my lovely friends via email, which I have since deleted (the emails, not the friends). So, now that my pregnancy seems to be going on smoothly with no further complications (continue praying for this, y'all), there's really nothing much to say. (I'm not complaining lest I sound like I am.)

16 August 2008 I discovered that I should eat first before drinking. That will help line my stomach sufficiently and keep the vomitting away.

Ants Again

Urgh.

The ants are back.

Big black ants - the type that when crushed, you can hear their bones breaking. Sigh.

In my present state, I really don't have the energy to turn the kitchen upside down to find out where they have built their nest. (The Husband is not keen on doing the detective work. I gotta find their home, point it out to him, and the hero that he is, he will get rid of them.) I think I will just let them live freely for a few more weeks. Then, they'll be dead. DEAD. *insert evil laughter here*

(Of course, if you have quick solutions that will annihilate the entire population, your ideas are most welcome.)

Week 10

1 August 2008 Week 10 will officially start on August 3. I'm beginning to feel better. I have not vomited out any food for the last 2 days. This is my many, many prayers answered. Masya Allah. When I had Huda, I prayed that if being terribly sick for five months meant that I would not have a terrible time in my next pregnancy, then, let it all come. And came it did. Waves of nausea and an assortment of related illness. So, please please please please.. let my pregnancy be better this time round. Amin.

3 August 2008 I've reached Week 10 (only!) and I told myself some weeks ago that I will summon all my strength to send the morning sickness away by Week 10. Presently, there's some kind of fiesta in my stomach. Whatever I eat seems to be at the edge of my oesophagus, just waiting for a little opening to surge right out. If they are not there, they and some gastric juices are doing the conga all over my stomach.

8 August 2008 Just checked how many days I've been on medical leave and ~ horrors!! ~ 8 days!! Wah seh!! I think this is the most I've ever taken in a year. But, then again, this also included my one-week leave for my miscarriage early this year. Gaaaahh.. I still foresee more weak days ahead soooo...

The feeling of fatigue is also ever-present. This morning, I had to stand around for about one hour. And, did I feel exhausted after that! The good thing was, I didn't have to join in the loooooong walk that the rest of them had to do. The sweet kiddies did offer to carry me in a sedan chair. But, no thank you, hor? I've just scolded them yesterday (and the day before and the day before and well, the day before too..) and they might just tip the chair and there goes Madame N.

However, the situation with food is improving. There are still some food items which are okay-sometimes-and-vomit-inducing-at-other-times. But the safe bet is always on the noodles. Noodles agree very well with me but plain rice - EUUUUUUWWWWWW!!!! See? Just the mere mention of it caused by stomach to do a somersault. It also means that it's sometimes a bit difficult getting food because rice is, well, omnipresent. So, sometimes, I still have to nibble on it and hope it will not turn me into a merlion. (Unfortunately it will.)