An Hour, A Minute... A Second?

26 June 2008

My period which otherwise comes like clockwork is late. All my pre-menstrual symptoms did not appear this week. That will include the pimples which regularly pop in to see me one week before my period begins.

I'm feeling tired all the time now. I feel nauseous when I'm hungry. That is so strange. With Huda, I was nauseous all the time.

Am I?

I'm reluctant to take a pregnancy test. I think the test kits are overpriced and if it's negative, it's $15 all gone. And also, so that, if I were to have my period 2 weeks from now, I would not know that it was a miscarriage.

 

30 June 2008

My period is still not here. Not that I want it to come. I get pains similar to  gastric pains which make me wanna vomit each time I'm hungry. And I'm hungry every hour or so. Yet, in one sitting, I can't eat much. This is frustrating.

I feel tired. I could only stand up for 1 period in class just now. I spent the rest of the time sitting down and conducting lessons.

I still have not taken a pregnancy test. I know that this could very well be a severe case of stress. So stressed that pregnancy-like symptoms appear? Oh, no thank you. I don't need this kind of stress. But I do feel so stressed by work lately. I will NOT go there. I will NOT taint baby talk with talks of work.

Huda lifted up my t-shirt just now and patted my tummy and said, "Baby. Baby." After that, she treated my tummy like a kompang. Ouch.

I'm extremely hungry.

 

5 July 2008

So, it's true.  2 test kits showing 2 positive lines suggest that #2 is on the way.

I'm still hungry but eating everything results in me feeling queasy. The vomiting, however, is not as severe as that of Huda's time. But, it is still early days yet. I remember when I was about 6+ weeks with Huda, I told The Husband that all the vomiting is just in the mind because I managed to suppress them. The following week saw me bent double over the toilet bowl, retching my guts out. That's cockiness for you.

Based on online pregnancy calculators, this baby is due either on the 1st or 2nd of March.

And I've also made an appointment with a gynae. It's Tuesday, 3.20pm. The following day, I have a Big Thing at school so even if I'm issued with a one-month MC, I must go to school.

Now, I'm going to go through my mother's kitchen to see what little I can eat. I'm at my mom's place because The Husband is out and about running errands on this lovely Saturday. Which is normally what we'd do together with Huda in tow. But, I suppose, no more Saturday outings for the next few weeks. (I'm gonna channel all the positive energy I have to think that this morning sickness will end by week 10 or week 12, tops.)

Okay. Til another time.

 

6 July 2008

These gastric juices are too much. When I eat a tiny morsel of something, they wil go on overdrive and I will feel the sharp pains just mere seconds after I swallow the food. However, last night, The Husband grilled some steak and I had a tiny bit of it. I felt okay for minutes after and I thought, perhaps, meat is the answer. Maybe the gastric juices take a much longer time to break down a piece of meat. But, soon, came the sharp pain. :( So, I figured, I need to eat something else - something that will keep the gastric juices occupied for a lot longer - like a piece of Lego or something.

 

14 July 2008

On medical leave today. Uweek.

Dear Good Government,

In your new-improved package to make people procreate even more, can you please include a one-month leave for women in their first trimester? I feel so lembik these days.

 

------------

There. I am indeed pregnant. Alhamdulillah. Please keep me in your prayers. Pray that I'll have a smooth-sailing pregnancy and a healthy baby. Amin.

Soon

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.  - Oscar Wilde

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now that my break is coming to an end, the desire to be a sahm gets stronger.

But my (sometimes misplaced) sense of responsibility is too strong for me to simply leave now.

Sigh.

World Without Strangers

I love the holidays.

With quite a few of my friends in the same profession, we often try to squeeze meet-ups during this season. And those who are doing something else will try to take half the day off to meet up.

Today I met up with my singleton friends. And looking at Huda's antics, one of them has sworn off parenthood. The jury's still out for the other two.

What did Huda do?

1. Drink water. Hold it in her mouth. Spray it back into the cup. And continued drinking from the same cup.

2. Dipped tissue paper in the cup. Used dripping wet tissue to wipe glass panels. And continued drinking from the same cup.

3. Used cup as a receptacle for chicken bones. And continued drinking from the same cup.

4. Climbed the partition separating us from the next table. Spied at the food on the next table and wanted whatever they were having.

And et cetera and et cetera...

One of them tried staring Huda down but, strangely, Huda would only be quiet for three seconds. Maybe Huda sees a gentleness about her. Hahaaa! The other one tried his frightening 'teacher glare' on Huda and it worked on her for about five seconds.

What does all this mean? It means Huda is not all that fearful of strangers anymore. Oh no. I'm sure it's good news but, you see, it means I have to work so much harder to contain Huda when we go out.

Ooops

I knew that my practical driving test was sometime in end April or end May. But work was complete madness in those few weeks with so many deadlines to meet and I had a nagging suspicion that I was going to miss my test.

Finally, today I steeled myself and logged on to bbdc. Here's what I found:

Test Date	Session	Warm-up Time	Test Time	Car Model	Test Type	Att	Result	Inst. No.
26/1/2008 Sat (Road)	1	08:25	08:25	P	P3	-	F	8888
6/5/2008 Tue (Road)	9	16:30	16:30	P	P3	-	A	8888

Oooops. It's over!

So, I will be good this time round and sign up for practical driving lessons with the school because I think I should be able to get an earlier date if I sign up with the school. I think I shall do all these on Tuesday.

Does anyone know how it works if I learn from the driving school? Do I need to go through everything from scratch and take a certain number of lessons before I can sit for the test? If it's going to be so, I may just go back to my old instructor but I have to be a lot more disciplined in going for lessons.

Diaries

I used to write almost-daily journals in those big corporate diaries that my father would receive mountains of at the end of every year. I would take one and use it for my journal. I wrote everything that happened to me that day, much like what blogs are to almost everyone today. Only difference is, my journals were for my eyes only so the writing was a lot more honest and raw. (Not that blogs are dishonest. It's just that once you are writing for an audience or the possibility of one, your writing will take a different slant and you may have to slash and burn or sensationalise depending on what your target is.)

A few days ago, my sister opened the top part of what-was-once-my cupboard and (thankfully I was there) found two diaries that belong to me, among many other stuff that I have conveniently forgotten about.

One diary was from the year 1988. I was in Primary 5 then. The other diary was from 1994. I was entering a new phase of life, having just completed my O levels and starting a new life in  JC. I took the 1994 diary away from my sis before she managed to open it.

My 1988 diary was so hilarious! I was studying in Jin Shan Primary School, a school which no longer exists. I wrote about my classmates and I truly hated the boys in my class. There was a boy who threatened to pull my hair out if I attended a certain function and apparently I also threatened to pull his hair out. I knew that I could not and should not sing in public even way back then. Hahahaaa! Growing up, I was very careful about the words I used. A lot of words were taboo to us, even words like 'stupid' and 'die'. Whenever my siblings and I played some games where we would shoot each other to death, I would say, "XXX dah aaaaaaaak." Aaaaaaaak means that the person has died; the assumption is when the person is shot (to death), he'll shout "aaaaaaaaaak" until he falls dead. My mom had a stillbirth in that year and I wrote, "My youngest brother aaaaaaaaaaak."

1994. My handwriting was significantly better. There were entries evey day except for the few weeks leading to the Promos (that's another word that I've just re-acquainted myself with - Promotional Exams, to ensure that we know enough to get us promoted to Year 2). Schoolmates, once again, figured greatly here. It's such a pleasure to read about the beginning of friendships with so many people whom I'm still friends with til today. Then there are friends whom I'm no longer in touch with. That just means that this holidays, I will be doing something that I used to do before life got busier (ie, I started working).  I'm going to write letters!! My younger sister was asking me why I did that. Weren't all my friends in Singapore? Yup. They were. But I just love writing letters and receiving replies. To me, receiving emails will never ever be the same as receiving letters. And you know that the energy invested in letter-writing is also not the same as that involved in emailing. It's just .. different. Back to 1994. There were many, many cringe-worthy reads but still, it was such an interesting year in my life and although part of me wished that certain things had taken a different course, another part of me understood why that was so. Am I cryptic or what. I will not be able to understand what I'm writing about when I read this a few years from now. Teehee!

After spending one night reading my diaries and reminiscing and reviewing a short history of my life with The Husband, I googled those I'm no longer in touch with to find out where they are. One has set up her own company, one has moved to Perth, another one shaved his hair for Children's Cancer Fund and quite a few are completely ungoogleble.

All righty. That's all for tonight!!

(Psst.. I have a pile of work to do but.. ummm.. tomorrow's another day, isn't it? Heh.)