Famili

I have another post waiting to be published but that one requires some nip and tuck. This is what's foremost on my mind now.

My grandmother has Alzheimer's disease, of which dementia is a symptom.

She has three children - my mother and my two uncles in Kuala Lumpur. She has her own kampong in Malacca but because she can't remember if she has eaten or not (among many other things that she has forgotten), her children take turns taking care of her. In between Kuala Lumpur and Singapore, the caregiver will send her to Malacca first where a good neighbour will take care of her for a few days before one of her children picks her up.

It is challenging taking care of people with dementia. They can't remember where they are, who we are, who her children are. Sometimes they can't even remember which stage of their lives they are. And so, at a ripe old age of 80, they are still calling out for their mothers.

I admire my mother's strength.

Many many years ago, my grandfather - my father's father, gradually lost his strength. He was lucid but he was weak. My mother took care of him, bathed him and fed him. We helped my mother to bathe and feed our grandfather and clipped his toenails too. But my mother was the primary caregiver.

Now, I see my mother once again playing the role of the dutiful daughter and take care of my grandmother even though it's emotionally taxing.

I wonder about me.

Will I have the same patience and strength as my mother?

I wonder about my children.

Will they have the same patience and strength as their grandmother?

I pray and I pray that all of us have infinite strength and patience and love to see all of us through our darkest days.

Farah and A Collection of Thoughts

I've been writing this since the 3rd of January (but only published this today, 27 January) so all time references are definitely way off.

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KIDS

1. I always gush to theHusband about how adorable the children are when they are sleeping. I have to resist the urge to rain them with hugs and kisses when they are asleep. When they are awake however...

HUDA

2. Huda is getting a bit cheeky in school although I'm not sure whether she knows what she's talking about. She came back from school and as usual, she would tell me about random stuff which happened there.

Among the topics covered was about being a bride. She asked me if I wanted to be a bride. So I told her that I was a bride on my wedding day, when I married Ayah.

She then said, "Huda pun dah kahwin. Huda dah kahwin dengan H----." (I've got married too. I married H----.)

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The next day, we were on the way back home from school. She suddenly said, "Alamak! Huda lupa lah nak tanya H---- dia nak kek apa. Huda nak belikan dia kek." (Alamak! I forgot to ask H---- what cake he wanted. I want to buy him a cake.)

---

Sigh. What am I to do with my cheeky little monkey? Anyway, the boy's name is not written out in full so that his parents won't come banging on my door for whatever reasons.

FARAH

3. At 11 months, Farah can now pull herself to a standing position, cruise around while holding on to the furniture for support, clap her hands, wave goodbye and point to her nose. She can smile and laugh on demand. And she laughs when she sees other people laughing, especially her sister. She seems to direct the word 'Ma' to me and 'Dada' to her sister. She hasn't cut her first tooth yet although she acts as if she's been going through severe teething pains since she was 4 months old ~ sheesh.. the drama queens my kids are...

4. Farah is still petite-ish but I do not worry about her small frame the way I used to worry about Huda's. This is because Farah actually eats. And, boy, does she eat!

While Huda refused to even take one bite (literally - before the food even entered her mouth, she would clamp her mouth shut and shake her head violently), Farah readily eats whatever is offered to her even if I don't like the taste of the food. She has brown rice with sishen (tastes awful but apprently is healthy stuff and can help build up her immunity, so the eu yan sang woman told me) for breakfast, porridge with fish and an assortment of vegetables for lunch and dinner. Still no salt in her diet. In between, I stuff her with baby crackers and fruit.

And she's still on breastmilk. I hope I can continue breastfeeding her til November this year. After that, I have to start weaning her off cos I'm going back to work in 2011. (shudder)

5. Farah no longer sleeps in her cot. We've dismantled it because it is a cause of great sorrow to us. Our sleep is affected by it. How so? It's getting too small for her so every time she moves about in her sleep, she'll get frustrated by the knocks and she wakes up crying. Frequently. In the middle of the night.

So, she now sleeps on a mattress on the floor and someone else also insists on sleeping there with her because she likes to touch Farah's hands. *rolls eyes*

And yes, both of them are in the same room. So, when one wakes up crying in the middle of the night, so does the other one.

6. While F does not have a problem eating, she does not like siting in her chair while being fed.

 

So, sometimes, I have to tie her legs. :p

 

7. Yesterday, I discovered F's new skill.

 

AOBs

8. Resolutions schmelolutions - erm. Still the same as 2009's and 2008's and 2007's and 1997's.. which is to get my driver's license. But with no effort whatsoever on my part, I really wonder when this will ever be achieved. My younger sister (younger by a good 12 years)  who kinda dragged me to sign up at BBDC together with her sometime last year just got her license and has been driving my father's car (with my father beside her, of course). Is that motivation enough for me to get my fat arse down to BBDC? I hope.

9. For these 2 weeks, Huda has a relief teacher teaching her in school. Who's the relief teacher? My former student who's waiting for her A level results. Gasp. I feel old. She used to know me some 10 years ago as Miss N-.

 

10. Nerf gun - it's so cool! Go get yours today!

 

11. I want to thank China for lowering our cost of living somewhat. Every time I see cheap kids clothes, stationeries, household stuff etc, I'll thank China. But, of course, this does not mean I'll be buying food products from China. Still frightened after the melamine scandal which apparently is still in milk products so, choose your milk wisely.